Knowing that Jack had been there all along to kill me. To finish what his brother had started. That I had been right in my worst fear.
Only … I knew Jack. I know that I am always the one to say that you never really know anyone, and that undoubtedly is true in this case.
But there’s just something … deep inside of me niggling away. Bothering me. Like an itch that I can’t reach.
Jack had so many opportunities to hurt me, and he never did. Not once. Until he did.
It’s just … hard to piece it all together. Understand everything.
Curling my hand around my wineglass, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to find those hidden memories. That itch in the back of my mind.
If I could just …
Stop.
I blink, shaking my head.
What was I thinking about just now?
I try to force my thought back, but it doesn’t work.
I rub at my forehead, feeling an ache coming on.
My mind feels so clogged up. Clouded. Hazy.
Like the fog is so thick and I can’t find my way through it.
The doctor said it was due to the trauma. That the memories from what happened that night will possibly return in the future … or they might never.
I pick my glass of wine up and take a sip, savoring the taste of it. I focus on the world through the window.
It’s early evening here in Los Angeles, the sun still bright in the sky.
LA is my home now.
I left Jackson not long after I got out of the hospital. Cole said that I needed a change of scenery. That I needed to be away from all memories of Jack. It didn’t take much to persuade me.
But obviously, Chicago wasn’t an option for me.
Cole suggested LA. I agreed.
I had tried a small town, and that hadn’t worked out. I thought maybe the sunshine might be good for me.
Cole moved here with me too.
I had been stupid to ever leave him behind like I did.
I’ve learned my lesson. I won’t ever leave my brother again.
I need him.
Cole and I share a house in Long Beach, and I’ve got a job, working at a local library. I like it there. The people are nice.
I’m trying to be a little more social nowadays. Hence why I’m sitting in a bar. I force myself to come most days after work and just be around people.
Okay, I’m alone. And I wouldn’t exactly say that I’m making friends. I don’t think I ever will. But shutting myself off to people evidently didn’t work. So, here I am.
And I have all the friends I need anyway.
Eleven lives with me now. She is the only link I have left to Jack.
I know it’s stupid to still think about him after everything that happened. But I do.
Not that I would ever tell Cole this. He’d be angry with me. He thinks I adopted Eleven because I couldn’t bear the thought of her not having a home. Which is the same reason that, before I left Jackson, I adopted Gary and Pork Chop, and I brought them all to LA to live with me.
Cole loves the dogs. And he likes Eleven, and she him. Which I was surprised at. Not at Eleven liking him, but Cole liking her.
I thought he’d dislike her because she was Jack’s cat. But he seems to have a bond with her.
It makes me happy.
So, yeah, we definitely have a full house with those three. But I love going home to them all after a day at work. They give me purpose.
“Is anyone sitting here?”
I turn my head at the deep male voice close behind me.
The first thing I see is the suit. Tailor-made. Beer bottle in hand. Rolex around his wrist.
I lift my eyes to his face.
Tanned skin. Dark brown hair cut into a short, neat style. Brown eyes. Handsome.
Though I have no interest.
Yes …
No.
The man smiles. It’s a nice smile. Easy and relaxed.
“Sorry if I’m bothering you,” he says after I say nothing. “I’m just looking for a spot to sit down and enjoy my beer. It’s been a long-ass day.”
Yes …
No.
“You didn’t … you’re not bothering me,” I answer politely.
But say no to the seat, I tell myself.
What can it hurt?
My heart is suddenly beating fast. I start to feel drowsy.
This has been happening so much recently. I’ve always struggled with tiredness since I was a kid. But these bouts of fatigue, they come on so quickly and from out of nowhere, making me fall asleep in random