city where I currently reside. If I didn’t like him, I’d find someone to replace him. But I do like him, so I can do him favors every now and then. It’s not political.”
“No, you’re right, it’s personal.” He set down his pen. “Subject has no political ambitions, but she enjoys playing God with people she claims to care about.”
That pissed her off. He could tell by the minute tightening of Tenzin’s jaw.
“Everyone plays God with people they love,” she said evenly. “You lie to Sadia about vegetables and call it love.”
“Did you just compare a white lie about vegetables with all the lies you’ve told me over the years?” Ben blinked. “They’re not even in the same neighborhood.”
“Wrong.” She leaned her elbows on the table, mirroring his posture. “It is exactly the same thing.”
“So you took me to your father and overruled my wishes to remain human because you knew it was good for me?”
“No, Ben, because I know you.” Her cool facade cracked, just a little. “You keep lying to yourself, but this was always where you were heading. You lived among us, demanding to be seen as an equal. And for the most part, you succeeded, but the first time you lost a step, the first time your knees started to ache in the morning, the first time you felt your body breaking down, you would have turned to your uncle” —she snapped her fingers— “and made the same choice I had to make for you that night.”
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I would have. But you didn’t have to make any choice that night, Tenzin. You could have saved my life if you’d taken me to a hospital, and you know it.”
“So I should have left you with the humans?” Her fangs fell. “You think I should have watched them cut you up and piece you together like a patchwork garment?” She snarled. “Hoped and prayed they didn’t fumble with your life? Human healers are butchers. I knew Zhang could save you. Anything less was an unacceptable risk.”
He gripped the edge of the table to keep from striking out. “What did you give him to save me?”
“He owed me.”
“You gave him something. What was it?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes it does!” He rose, cracking the table as he stood.
Her expression was unreadable. “Why do you care if you’re so angry with me, Benjamin? Why does it matter what I gave him?”
“Because…” Because he didn’t need another debt in his life. He didn’t need another person he loved sacrificing important things to save his dumb life. “It just matters, Tenzin.”
“You’re right,” Tenzin said softly. “It matters because you’re alive.” Tenzin rose and floated toward him until they were eye to eye. She put a warm hand on his cheek and traced the arch of his eyebrow with a single finger. “You are alive.”
She repeated it like a mantra.
“You live, Benjamin Vecchio, and you owe your life to no one. Not me. Not Zhang. You will live however you see fit. You will protect those who matter to you and follow only the commands of your conscience.” Her voice fell to a whisper. “You will go where you want and you will love who you will, so be angry with me for as long as you want. I know I did the right thing.”
Ben felt his heart break open, because he saw the history of Tenzin’s life through her wishes for his.
She had owed her life and loyalty to Zhang.
She had lived at the will of the powerful.
She had protected the unworthy and been bound to the command of others.
Ben couldn’t deny what he felt for her even if he didn’t know what to do with it.
He loved her. He’d never stopped.
Ben tossed a tennis ball in the air and caught it, over and over like a baseball. “Patterns,” he muttered as he examined the names on the cupboard.
Brigid was on speakerphone. “What?”
“Patterns. We fall back into them, whether we want to or not.”
“Are you talking about you or Tenzin?”
“I don’t know yet.” He stared at Tenzin’s name. “Maybe both.”
“What happened?”
“I’m dangerously close to understanding her point of view.”
“That is dangerous.”
Ben tossed the tennis ball and caught it again. “Is that vampire morality taking over? Am I going to become one of those monsters who justify anything if it gives me what I want?”
“Do you even know what you want?”
“Probably not.” No, that wasn’t right.
He wanted Tenzin. He wanted to grab her, drag her to his trailer, take her blood, and