to move, I held him in place. He sighed. “Daniel.”
“Reed.”
He crinkled his nose and held eye contact with me for a few seconds in silence. Then, he caved. “Fine! But you have to promise not to get mad.”
“Why would I get mad?”
“Because it puts us both in a tough position,” Reed said, softer this time. “I don’t want to ruin what we have by bringing up shit that’s hard to talk about.”
“Tell me.”
Releasing another sigh, Reed unwound himself from my arms and stood from the couch. “I just… I’m happy with you, Daniel. Like really fucking happy.”
“Then why do you look miserable?” I asked. Seeing the tears in his eyes felt like a knife digging in my gut.
“Because I don’t know if we can ever actually be together,” Reed said, his voice cracking. “Not in the way we want to be. It’s easy for us to be together right now, like this, but the fantasy can’t last forever. We can’t keep our relationship a secret. And I don’t want to. I hate having to sneak around.”
“Okay. So, let’s come out.”
“Are you crazy? You’re about to get a huge promotion. What if you lose the promotion because of this? Hell, what if they fire you? Do you really want to put your career on the line for me?”
I stood up and closed the distance between us. He was trembling as I gripped the side of his neck.
“I’d risk anything to be with you,” I told him.
“That’s stupid,” Reed said, his expression hardening. “You’ve worked your ass off to get where you are. I’m not letting you throw it away.”
“What are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?”
“What? No.” Reed closed his eyes and released a shuddering breath, pressing his cheek against my palm. “I don’t know what I’m saying. I don’t wanna lose you, but I don’t want you to get fired for being with me either.”
“Seems like we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.”
“Exactly.” Reed stepped away from me and walked toward the kitchen. “Want a glass of wine?”
He always drank wine to calm his nerves. Which told me he was really struggling.
“Sure.” I followed him and stared out the patio doors as he poured us each a glass and handed me one. “Thank you.”
He stood beside me, looking at the same beautiful view of the moonlight bouncing off the dark water. My house had a different view of the harbor than his did. From mine, you saw less of the businesses and boats and more of the mountains and water as far as the eye could see.
“I hate this shit,” he said before taking a sip of wine. “I finally found a good guy, but the world is against us being together.”
“The world isn’t. Just the company.”
“But still. It sucks.”
“Do you regret this?” I asked, keeping my gaze on the dark water. “Us?”
“Not even a little bit.” Reed leaned his head on my shoulder. “Do you?”
I kissed the top of his hair and shook my head. No matter what happened between us, I would never regret the weeks I spent with him. All the laughs we’d shared, both in and out of bed.
“So.” Reed sipped his wine, then cocked his head back and shot me a sly grin. “Wanna fuck?”
I had just taken a drink and nearly choked. It was like he intentionally waited for me to be eating or drinking before he said shit like that.
“Don’t die on me, big guy,” he said, still grinning.
Behind the grin, I saw something else, though. Shadows in his eyes.
It was impossible to keep things going as they were for much longer. Even if we were out to our families, we still couldn’t be 100 percent open about our relationship. Anytime we went out to dinner or to a movie, we’d constantly be looking over our shoulder to make sure we didn’t run into anyone we knew from work.
“Finish your wine,” I said, stepping toward him. He tilted his head up to meet my gaze, his lips parting. “And then I’m going to fuck you until you scream Daddy’s name.”
That did it.
Reed howled with a laugh and set his glass on the counter. He then wrapped his long arms around me and kissed my chest. I felt him smiling even through my shirt. Whatever happened in the future would happen, but for now, we enjoyed the moment we were in.
This… my life with him… I wouldn’t give it up for anything.
Chapter Seventeen
Reed
“I think I’m about to piss myself,” I