her, rather.
Amazingly, Jada had been interested enough in their survival to pack food for them, so at least they weren't hungry. Alice had napped, so she wasn't as tired either. But it wasn't enough to decrease the stress building inside her, despite her best efforts to get into the tropical vacation mindset.
Frustration beat through her, and she glanced back at Ian. He was sitting astride the rear seat, his mace held loosely in his hand. The man was on edge, not at all relaxed, as if he expected a sea monster to leap up out of the water and try to eat him. It made her feel safe, but at the same time, seeing him sitting there looking so lethal was a tease, showing her what he could do if he chose. He could help her kill Catherine if he wanted to, but his commitment to some ideal about the Order was making him blind to what mattered. Shouldn't the bond make him want to help her? Shouldn't the fact that half his damn mace was burned into her arm shift his loyalties to her over the Order and a family that was long dead?
But no. It hadn't. He wanted to make love to her. He would die if she rejected him. But trust her enough to help her without full information? Not a chance. Bastard.
I can hear you, sweetheart. I'm not a bastard.
Alice felt her cheeks heat up and she spun away from him, staring back across the water. After hearing him talk about his father, she knew he wasn't a bastard. Ian may have grown up in the shadow of the curse, but he'd had a father who'd loved him, and that was an incredible gift. If he didn't appreciate and honor that gift, then he would be a bastard. She was envious of the way he'd spoken about his father. She'd never had that bond with her mother. As a little girl, she'd tried to impress her, but her mother had been more concerned with angel duties than showering love on a little girl.
Yes, she was an angel of life, but she was a sucky one, and that meant that she could yearn for connection and emotion. She could see it in others. She could scent it as it drifted across her path. She could feel the loss of it, agonize over the absence of it, and envy those who had it. Envy. For an angel? God, what kind of angel was she? How much further would Ian pull her off track if she let him get to her?
Biting back frustration, she took a deep breath, trying to pull her emotions back under control. She focused on the scenery, trying to absorb the beauty of it into her soul. The sun was low in the sky, casting the most magnificent shades of orange, pink, and purple across the water, as if it were lighting up the path the dolphins were supposed to follow. She focused on the sunset, trying to raise her mental shields against him, trying to eliminate his ability to unsettle her.
It's going to be more difficult to block me out since we're blood-bonded. We're locked into each other now.
Alice said nothing, hating how her body and her mind craved him. His deep voice sent waves of comfort and warmth through her, and it made her ache for him. Why could he make her feel like that? If she fell in love with him, she'd become irretrievably broken as an angel. If she fell in love with him, she would try to make the same choice that she'd made before with her mother, saving him out of love, which is why she'd lost the ability to save anyone. She knew it had been taken away from her because she'd proven incapable, and it wouldn't return until she proved herself worthy. As far as she could figure, the only reason she hadn't been fully stripped of her angel status was because she'd been a child when she'd made the decision. And ever since, she'd been gradually falling.
"Shit, Alice. Why didn't you tell me all that?"
Alice spun around, furious that he'd been in her mind. "What is wrong with you? Don't you have any respect for my privacy?"
Ian's eyes glittered. "You were broadcasting. I'd have to be dead not to hear your thoughts."
"I wasn't broadcasting! I was thinking! Privately!"
"You'll have to try harder than that to keep me out." Ian rested the mace across his thigh. "Listen,