if I could spot his superhuman speed if he warned me first.
Not that he ever does.
His palms slam into Roman’s chest, and his fingers spread wide as the two of them seethe unshed aggression into the heated breaths between them.
“Move,” is all Roman says on a gravelly growl.
Avian’s glare becomes slightly less violent, and his silver eyes sparkle with the affection he always hoards in that shining knight heart of his.
“Calm down,” Avian whispers, and I can feel the moment his hands turn from being a defense stance to an intimate stance. It’s in how the tension in his hard lined shoulders and back melt into total calm. It’s like he just wants to feel Roman’s heartbeat against his fingertips rather than nearly shoving him away.
Maybe it’s both.
Roman’s pale eyes are still hard piercing when he looks at me from over his friend’s shoulder. I hold that stare for as long as he lets me. I hold it for so long the anger between us fades, edging little by little into begrudging understanding.
But the real thing is, why does he care? Why does he care if I die? If I die, they continue on. They find a new me. And their ultimate goal is still intact.
I’m the one risking something.
I have a purpose here. And I’m not about to fail it.
“We need real plotting. I need in on the actual destination for this little adventure you’ve pulled me in to.”
“No,” Zilo says, surprising me with the gruff rumble of his tone that I had nearly forgotten he was capable of. We were making such progress with his kindness.
Where are his glasses? Why has he taken off his reading glasses that were clearly what helped with his personality.
Right now, it’s shit. This personality is shit; I much prefer the other.
“No?” I cock my head to the right like I can’t fathom holding it up while he disrespects me so blatantly.
“No,” he enunciates. “You’re not authorized. Another person knowing our full plan, is another person willing to repeat it.”
“You think I’d rat on you?”
The synchronization of all three men shrugging at the same time burns disgust all through me.
Wow.
I expected this childish distrust from Roman. Maybe from Zilo too if I’m honest…but Avian? Avian doesn’t trust me.
I may as well be alone here.
“You three came to me. I didn’t beg you to take me to the fucking pits of hell.”
“Might as well have. What else did you have waiting in your future?” Roman cuts that statement out so hard it hurts. It sinks into my chest like a knife with the honesty of it all bleeding into me.
“Fuck you.” My jaw grinds shut, and I want nothing more than to kick him in his dick and walk away.
But I have nowhere to walk to.
And it’s clear Roman’s entirely dickless anyway.
“We should give our report.” Avian doesn’t look at me when he says those quiet little words, but I can see the guilt in his gray eyes.
Good.
He should feel guilty.
Zilo though, he’s staring at me like he finally wants to call a truce. The set of his lips is uneasy like he wishes to say more but he doesn’t possess the kind of words I’d want to hear.
And we both know that.
Finally, Zilo gives in. He does. He just does it wrong. And instead of amending the broken relationship we’ve never fixed, he turns away and leads the other two men out to give that Goddessdamn important High Hell report.
One by one they exit through the glossy door frame. It’s a slow leave of them walking away, so slow that Roman has time to glance back my way, his lips parting without sound. The hurt in the room is a living, breathing thing that presses against my chest.
Does it press against his too?
His attention stays locked on me, his hand lingering on the doorknob.
Say something!
Anything.
Say fucking anything.
Please.
He lazily pulls the handle, and the door glides closed behind them with a quiet whispered click.
Then the dampness in my eyes hits my cheeks, and I can’t seem to stop it all from coming. The pressure in my chest is too much and forces out the tears faster and faster until I can’t hear anything but my racing pulse in my ears.
“I shouldn’t have come here,” I scold myself.
“Yes, you should have,” an ominous faraway voice answers.
My shoulders tense as my hands fist at my sides, and I’m on the defense in the silent bedroom.
Alone.
The beast deep inside me vibrates against my chest with a roaring