shirt was made of soft denim. I shook it out, revealing bright embroidered flowers with looping vines at the shoulders.
“This is cute,” I said, trying to smooth the wrinkles against my leg.
“The embroidery on it is gorgeous,” Priyanka agreed. “Check it to see if there are any holes or stains I missed….”
I ran my fingers softly across the seams and turned the shirt inside out, giving it a thorough inspection. In that moment, I wished more than anything that I’d found it first.
The boys had tried so hard to find clothes for me when we were traveling in Betty, and they hadn’t understood what a difference it had made to me to be able to pick out something I liked for myself. As unhelpful as it was to wear bright pink on the run, it had let me feel some small bit of power to present myself the way I wanted to, in a world that was trying to render me powerless. It had made me feel like one of the magic girls in the manga I grew up reading, with their bright colors and beautiful costumes. Back then, that’s what strength had looked like to me.
“You still with me, Sparky?”
I blinked. “Yeah. Sorry.”
“That top would look cute on you with a bright skirt, but it seems sadly impractical for running and beatdowns.”
“Wait,” I said. “You pulled this for me?”
“Oh no, I’m doing the overwhelming thing again,” Priyanka said. “Sorry. I just thought the colors would look great with your skin tone. It won’t hurt my feelings or anything if you want to toss it back. I’m so used to having to look after Roman, I sometimes forget other people are actually capable of taking care of themselves.”
“No, I love it,” I said. I was just…surprised she had somehow perfectly nailed my taste. “I already grabbed clothes.”
I tried to pass the blouse back to her, but she only looked at the Cavaliers shirt like it was crawling with lice.
“It’s supposed to be a disguise,” I said, wondering why I felt like I had to defend the choice.
“That thing is at least three sizes too big for you. Can’t we just find you a big hat or something?” Priyanka said. “I mean, if you’re going to be a fugitive on the run for your life, shouldn’t you at least be wearing something you feel good in?”
I pushed it at her again, hating the way my throat tightened. The humor drained from her face as she finally took it back. Instead of returning it to one of the bags, she folded it and added it to her own pile.
“In case you change your mind,” she explained.
“I won’t.”
Priyanka shrugged. “Anyway, bless you for thinking that wouldn’t be a crop top on me. What about this for me, though?”
The blouse she held up was a dark floral pattern, slightly sheer, with long sleeves. There was just enough color to bring out the amber in her eyes. But after seeing her in the bright yellow dress, it seemed almost too subdued for her.
“Find high-waisted jeans and tie them off. If it wasn’t a thousand degrees out, I’d say layer it with this—” I tugged out a soft violet sweater.
Her face lit up as she took it. “Maison de Dumpster is a treasure trove. This is vintage Dior!”
“Très Trash has a surprisingly good variety,” I said, watching as she happily tried on a long vest, before adding that to her pile, too. She returned to the bag, digging something out from the bottom. “Usually it’s just NASCAR shirts and baby clothes. Who is that for, though?”
Priyanka looked down at the faded floral T-shirt in her hands. It wouldn’t have fit either her or Roman, but she didn’t hand it over to me. Instead, it went into her pile, too.
A pile with enough clothes for three people, not two. Priyanka must have seen the moment I put it together, because her expression didn’t just shutter, it shut down.
And I snapped back to reality.
Those last traces of warmth were stomped out by the silence that followed. It was a relief when she turned her back on me. I didn’t have to hide the growing, bitter anger that was twisting me inside out.
You did it again, I thought vehemently. I’d gotten too comfortable. I wanted to blame her, cling to the idea that it had all been a careful manipulation to get me on their side.
But I was ashamed. I was ashamed that, at least for a few minutes,