as if he was about to argue, but as he took another step away from the wall, he swayed, and then his eyes rolled back and his knees buckled. Lucan, who was nearest, just managed to stop him from banging his head. Lucan hoisted him up. “Upstairs?”
Kay nodded. He desperately wanted to carry Charles himself, but he knew he wasn’t back to full strength and followed Lucan up to his room. “Do you need us to stay?” Tom asked gently. Kay hadn’t even noticed Tom had followed, but Charles was important to Tom. Kay had originally been going to do this in private, but he nodded. “I hate doing this without his express permission, but I cannot watch him sicken.” And die. But he didn’t say that. He doubted with the worry on Tom’s face he had to.
“Lance thinks he’s willing in Morgan’s plans, but I know he isn’t,” Tom said. “He was more of a father to me than anyone. I lost count of the number of times he protected me, and I cannot believe there is any badness in him.”
“That’s because you always think the best of people,” Charles murmured and opened his eyes. Wordlessly, he stared at Kay and held his arm out. “It is the only way to protect you.”
Kay swallowed. He didn’t just want that. Surely Charles knew how he felt about him, but now wasn’t the time to argue. He glanced at Lucan and started whispering the words Merlin had taught them. Lucan drew a stripe on Kay’s arm, and balancing Charles’s, he drew the same. Kay turned his over to press the cuts together, but instead of the sting of pain he expected, a moment of clarity and utter joy sped through him.
He met Charles’s eyes as the feeling raced through his veins and entered his heart. Charles’s eyes widened as intense heat seemed to light them from the inside. For a second it was almost unbearable, but then warmth and joy suffused Kay’s very soul as all the broken pieces of his life finally clicked into place.
He didn’t realize that Tom and Lucan had left them for another long moment. “How do you feel?”
Charles’s breath hitched. “Better than I deserve to.” And wetness bloomed on Charles’s lashes. “How can you forgive me for rejecting you?”
Kay sank down on the bed and gathered Charles into his arms. He was crying before he took another breath. “Sweetheart, you heard Tom. You’re a good man. I refuse to believe there is a bad bone in your body.” Charles trembled, and Kay tilted Charles’s face up to meet his, pressing a very gentle kiss on each closed eyelid and gathering up the moisture. “You thought you were doing the right thing. You were taught to put others before you.”
“You don’t have to comfort me.” Charles drew back. “I don’t deserve it. I know we are trapped.”
“Trapped?” Kay repeated.
Charles nodded miserably. “You have no choice. If you didn’t do this, you would die.”
“Is that really what you think?” Kay asked, astounded. “You are the other half of my soul, and I have been searching for you for over a thousand years. Whatever makes you think that my first thought on finding you was simple self-preservation?” He could feel anger and frustration building where only a moment ago there had been joy.
“How can you—”
“How can I not?” Kay almost pleaded. He understood it was a hard adjustment.
“You don’t know who I am.” Charles shuffled out of Kay’s arms.
Kay let him for the moment, understanding he’d had his whole belief system stripped bare. “You are a child that was sacrificed to Arawn. Galahad told me she has practiced blood magic for a very long time.”
“I almost wish that were true.” Charles spat the words out as if they were poison. “I’m not simply a child. I am Morgan’s child. I am her son.”
Kay absorbed that for a moment.
You both have things to learn about yourselves. Important things. Was this what Galahad meant?
“You know that for a fact?”
“Mel believes so, and it makes a lot of sense.” Born of evil.
“If it’s true, they don’t know. There’s no way they would have let you go.”
“How can you stand to even touch me?” Charles cried out and shuddered.
Kay took his hand and held on when Charles would have yanked it away. “Your birth isn’t who you are.”
Charles looked at him in exasperation. “How are you so sure?”
Kay smiled. “Because I can feel you.” He pressed a hand to Charles’s chest, over his