The Darkest Knight (Guardians of Camelot #3) - Victoria Sue Page 0,28
helped himself to a cup of tea and eyed Charles. “You look like shit.”
Charles couldn’t help the smile. “Good morning to you too.”
“Seriously.” Mel chewed his lip. “Are you okay, or is that a silly question?”
Charles poured his own coffee and added cream and sugar. He sat down opposite Mel. “I don’t know what to do.”
“And you don’t have any memories to help you decide.” It wasn’t a question. Charles shook his head.
“I’ve never needed direction,” Charles admitted. “I’ve always just known, but this is outside of my experience, and I have no idea where to go for advice.”
“But you must go somewhere.” Charles gazed at Mel, not a hundred percent certain what he meant. “I mean, you’ve lived in New York City since you were eight in human years, right?” Charles nodded. “So how come you don’t talk like a New Yorker? I mean, you definitely have an American accent, not an English one, but sometimes you don’t sound like you grew up in this century never mind the city.”
Charles didn’t have a reply. It wasn’t something he’d ever thought about. He’d watched TV, hung out with… A faint sliver of panic weaved its way along his bloodstream. Hairs stood on end as his arms chilled.
“What is it?’ Mel asked perceptively.
“Why can’t I remember? I lived with four people in a basement apartment that was a dump all the time I worked for Tom’s parents, and I can’t remember one single face.”
“And before?” Mel pushed. “When you were a child?”
Charles thought hard. He remembered explaining to the knights how he had made sure he wasn’t adopted, but not the incidents themselves. He definitely remembered the walks to Tom’s church, and all the interaction he had with them, but nothing else. No school even, yet he had knowledge. Charles lurched to his feet, Mel’s words coming back to him.
“Appearing only when someone decides you are needed and having no memory of any previous task? I would say that’s an enormous amount of control.”
Was that true? Did his belief in a noble destiny make him a mere puppet for others to control?
A much harsher tug on his mind made him gasp. “No,” he snapped and wrested his body’s control back, feeling the unseen fingers pulling him in a different direction.
“No?” Mel repeated, concern threading his voice.
“I feel a pull.”
Mel looked as bewildered as Charles felt. “What do you mean, a pull?”
“I mean as if I am to go somewhere. No,” Charles amended. “As if I was being told to surrender.”
“And have you felt it before?”
“In the tunnel, but now I think about it, maybe because the first hint or pull I would obey without thinking, without even being conscious of making a decision.”
“And you are now? Or is it that you are refusing which goes against your normal instinct?” Charles nodded. He wasn’t certain, but Mel’s theory had a ring of truth to it. “When were you first aware of it? Now?”
“In the tunnel,” Charles whispered. As he had held Kay.
“Before or after the Ursus had gone?”
Charles thought. “After. As I bent to pick him up from the floor.” When his heart had stopped beating. He had refused the pull because it would have meant letting Kay go, and he needed to make sure he was okay.
“Which makes sense,” Mel said slowly.
“How does any of this make sense?” Charles’s voice rose unintentionally.
“Because your task was done at that second. Your light was safe, so you had fulfilled your purpose, but your own feelings are complicating matters.”
Charles frowned. “What do you mean?”
“He means,” Gawain said from the doorway, “that for the first time you wanted more than to know your light was safe.”
Charles glanced up at Gawain, surprised at the gentle tone and relieved he was on his own. “More?” But he knew. He was fighting it, but he knew. Gawain came in and went to the coffeepot.
“I don’t think Kay is wrong, and I don’t think any of our Tresors are mere mortals.” He said that with an ironic smile. “Look at Mel and Tom. Neither are, certainly, and I doubt if Roxy will prove to be any other.”
Charles frowned. But he wasn’t a Tresor. He couldn’t be.
“Every knight and Tresor so far has had certain challenges to overcome before they are united. I have no reason to think that you will be any different.”
Charles gaped. Gawain said it like it like it was accepted. Like he and Kay were meant to be together.