to hurt you,” Kelos said, quietly. “Please don’t strike at me again.”
Jax sighed. “Maryam, do as he says. Kelos, put me down.”
“Are you going to attack me again?”
“No. Not while you’re awake anyway.”
Kelos chuckled. “Good enough. Smart, too. You might even get me that way.” He tossed Jax into a flip that allowed her to land gracefully on her feet facing him.
She turned a hard look my way. “I thought you said he had a death wish, Aral.”
I shrugged. “I thought he did. Perhaps that was all reflex?”
“I choose not to die today,” said Kelos. “But it won’t be much longer.” He sounded old and tired and unspeakably sad. “Once the Son of Heaven is gone, I will have no reason to keep fighting. Until then . . .” He shrugged. “Until then, well, it could go either way. Depends on mood more than anything.”
He turned and stuck his head out into the hall. “I was right to have you wait back there, but you can come in now, Lieutenant Chomarr. I think that the bulk of the killing rage has been burned off for the moment, though I wouldn’t turn my back on anyone but Aral and Siri, if I were you.”
The Hand entered cautiously with a terse, “Noted.”
Chomarr took a seat between Siri and Kelos as the latter closed the council room door and leaned back against it. His Storm flew down to perch on his thigh.
“Aren’t you worried that one of my students might put a sword through your back from the hall?” Jax asked Kelos.
“Do you think Malthiss would let that happen?” he countered, and I noticed that his shadow vanished under the door rather than taking basilisk shape behind him.
“No, probably not. But a girl can dream, can’t she?” Jax vaulted back over the table and reclaimed her seat. She assumed a calm tone, but I could read the fury in the lines of her neck and the set of her lips—I had seen it often enough when we were engaged.
“Lieutenant Chomarr?” she said. “I understand that you have information we need. In light of that, I’ll refrain from letting my students kill you before we’ve extracted it, but, your people gave me these.” Jax traced a finger lightly along the scars on her cheek. “And this.” She lifted her half hand. “Give me the slightest excuse, and I will cut your living heart out of your chest.”
The Hand nodded, his face almost serene. “I have served my god all the days of my life. My soul is always prepared for death. I do not fear to meet the lords of judgment. Nor the wheel of rebirth.”
I recognized his expression by the way it felt from within. When my goddess yet lived I wore it often enough myself—utter religious certitude, perhaps the most fundamental problem of fanaticism.
Roric cleared his throat. “Just say the word, Lieutenant, and I can speed you on your way.” He touched the scar where his ear used to be. “Like Master Jax, I have a few debts I owe where your kind is concerned.”
I can’t quit, can I, Triss? I sent. Right now, what I want more than anything in the world is to get up and walk away. I want to go home to my horrible little room in the hayloft at the Gryphon’s Head and go back to being a shadowside jack whose only problem is where to find enough money for my next drink.
Is that really what you want? To become a drunk once more? Because, as I remember it, you were fucking miserable doing that.
I sighed and rubbed my forehead. You’re right, and it was killing me. But I don’t want the weight of the order on my shoulders, much less what’s going to happen if we kill the Son of Heaven. I really don’t know if I can bear it all.
If we kill the Son of Heaven? I thought it was when. But we can discuss this later; if you don’t want another fight breaking out in this room in the next few minutes, you need to get your hands back on the reins.
Triss was right, as usual. “Roric, that’s enough. Everyone, Lieutenant Chomarr is here under my protection, and I will not have him threatened any further.” I turned to Chomarr next. “I’ve told my people the basics of my conversation with Toragana and what we believe is happening with the Son, and in Heaven’s Reach, but I’ve left the details of current security arrangements