“She won’t survive,” he says softly. He has enough decency to show regret.
“So you’re saying that because I brought her here to Ethar, I killed her.”
“You couldn’t have known.”
“Where’s Kricket’s mother—Arissa? I have to speak to her! I have to find a way to change the future!”
Pan shakes his head. “She’s gone. She died on Earth,” he says honestly.
“I don’t believe you! Someone with her advanced knowledge, she’d see it coming!”
“She did see it coming! She begged me to take her life so that no one could find us.”
“What?”
“Excelsior has Nezra, Arissa’s first daughter. Nezra is an ingenious tracker. She would’ve found us eventually, when her skills advanced, like they are now. It was just a matter of time before Nezra located Arissa. Arissa wanted to protect Astrid, so she begged me to kill her. Nezra couldn’t track us then because she didn’t have a connection to us. Without ever having met her sisters, Nezra couldn’t picture them in her mind.”
“She found Kricket.”
“Kricket is well-documented now. Her image is everywhere. Nezra can imagine Kricket in her mind. That’s not the case with Astrid. Nezra has never seen her and she doesn’t know she exists, so she’ll have a hard time finding Astrid.”
“I’m sorry about your consort. I didn’t know.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. You’re just like me—in love with someone who has no future. We’re both trapped in an impossible situation.”
“I’m not trapped. I’m keeping Kricket. I’ll find her. I’ll save her,” he warns, but his face is one of anguish rather than determination.
“Will you? You might come to a place where you’ll have to ask yourself what you’re willing to sacrifice to prevent the deaths of millions of people—to protect others that you love. What would you be willing to risk in order to stop an evil dictator from gaining power and ending life as we know it? The burden of it is beyond your comprehension now. I have moments that I have to struggle to take a breath. It’s why I carry this around.” He holds up the smoker. “It reminds me that she wanted me to live.”
Trey turns desperate. “Give me trained soldiers! I’ll kill Excelsior. I swear it!”
“You’re not part of this, Trey. You should get out while you still can.”
“I’ll never leave her alone!”
“Think about what happens if she survives.”
“She becomes the empress of Ethar.”
“Yes, with one of the most powerful Etharians by her side, Kyon Ensin. He’ll make her his consort if he hasn’t already.”
“But she’ll be the empress. She’ll have the power to choose her destiny.”
“I think that is naïve of you, Trey, but let’s assume for a moment that you’re correct. How do you think she’ll react to New Amster?”
“She’ll be threatened by you at first, but once she comes to know you—”
“We’ve made it a priority to keep her down. We’ve assured that she felt the bite of poverty; we’ve watched her suffer abuse, secretly hoping that someone else would destroy her so that the burden of it would be absolved from us. How do you think she’ll respond to that, with all the power that she’ll have?”
“You’re worried that she’ll want revenge?”
“Wouldn’t you?”
“You’re afraid of her.”
“I’m practical. She’s not equipped to make the decisions needed to wield the kind of power that she’d have as empress. We have to put Rafe back together. It’s our duty. We have responsibilities to our civilization that she cannot fulfill.”
“She’s young, but she can—”
“Astrid will always be a threat to her reign. They’ll constantly be pitted against one another.”
“Kricket would never hurt her sister. She proved that by saving her.”
“She saved herself. Giffen would have killed her had she not cooperated. If she survives Excelsior, Kricket will let you close to her, close enough for you to be able to ensure the survival of Rafe and New Amster.”
“I could speak to her for sure. I can guide her—”
“Not guide her.” He shakes his head. “End her. If you want Rafe to survive, you’ll protect Astrid. Kricket as the empress translates to the death of our House. It will be just the four Houses.”
I’m way past the point of being able to stay now. I hover near them, languishing in the dark corner, a fading memory. None of it matters anyway. If I die now or later, it’s all the same. I die. No wonder no one explained the future to me—the prophecy. I have no future. No one wanted to tell me that. They want me to play my role and then get