the truth of his terrible existence, but the woman had. She had to find the same answers for him. If it was possible that he was alive, she needed to find him and free him.
"Lara?" Nicolas leaned close to her, smoothing back her hair with a gentle hand. "Do you understand
what I'm saying to you?"
She forced her eyes open to meet his gaze. It was now or never to see if he had really changed. She pushed herself into a sitting position. Instantly he was there with his strong arms, propping her up, pushing air and pillows around her until he felt her comfort.
She made herself say it out loud, her gaze steady on his. "You want to give me blood."
He didn't look away and he kept his mind firmly merged with hers. "I need to give you blood," he corrected, allowing her to see the truth, to feel his hunger for her, for the taste of her, for the excitement of holding her close to him and feeling the incredible bonding between lifemates. More than his personal hunger to exchange blood with her, she felt his even stronger need to make her healthy again.
She moistened her lips. "I need to go back to the ice cave," she blurted out. "That's the reason I came here in the first place. I have to go back. Not you. Not the other Carpathians, but me. My aunts kept me alive, no, they did more than that. They kept me sane, and I suspect they kept my father sane as long as they could. I owe them and I need to go find them. Dead or alive, finding out the worst, it doesn't matter, I have to do this."
She clung to the mind merge, reading his reactions, refusing to flinch away from the dominating, very powerful demon who rose on a tidal wave of darkness to protest. His curse, he had said. She saw him so clearly now. Nicolas would never be anything but what he was, and that was a forceful presence who had confidence in his decisions. He would always believe in protecting her first, keeping her safe, but he was also struggling to give her a sense of confidence. He saw her as an equal, but one who needed to be guarded and governed. He was determined to grow beyond that. She saw and felt his struggle to fight back his first reaction. The protest welled up in him strong-violent even.
"You are not going to make this easy for me, are you?" he asked with a small sigh.
"I have to go into the cave. I'm asking you to understand."
"That I can say without reservation. I do understand. Truthfully,I have to go back to that cave. I was there with you, sharing the horrors for a small time and their voices helped not only you cope, but me as well. You are my lifemate, a gift from the gods, and they kept you alive and sane for me. I understand the need to know their fate. If they are dead, I will recover their bodies and bring them home. If they, by some miracle, are still alive and I find proof, I will never stop until they are found."
For the first time she reached out to him, taking both of his hands in hers, her gaze never wavering. "I have to go myself, Nicolas." She repeated each word with distinction, watching it sink in, watching his instinctive reaction.
He looked so incredibly handsome and dangerous with his black glittering eyes and smoldering, sensual features. His hair was long already and tied back again with a leather thong making her wonder for a moment if he had deliberately brushed the strands across her bare skin. She felt her color rise at the thought.
"Read my mind, if you need to. See why it's so important to me. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I don't have the same needs that drive you to protect those you love. The aunts were the only real support I had in my childhood. I didn't remember my father at all until I rediscovered the ice cave."
"Kod alte han. Darkness curse it." Nicolas hissed the oath between his teeth. The problem was-he
did understand. How could he not? He didn't want to, not when the mere thought of Lara in that cave made him crazy. It was too dangerous. What kind of a lifemate would he be if he didn't protect her? All of his life he had ranted