was getting. Of everything that I had suffered in my life, nothing beats what I had done to Calen, and all the reasons and excuses in the world won’t ever change that. There’s no justification for keeping his child away from him, even if at the time I saw no other way and was given no real choice in the matter.
I wish I were brave enough to open my mouth and tell him all of it, but knowing him, it was too late. The old Calen would’ve cossetted me if he knew half of the truth, but I doubt very seriously that this Calen would want to hear, or would even consider looking past my sins to the underlying matter.
So I followed along behind him wordlessly, the distance between us getting wider and wider as he and the sales clerk discussed the best choices for my son, knowing that with each purchase, he was driving a deeper wedge between my son and me. He wasn’t buying top of the line nursery stuff for weekend visits, and where did he learn about all this stuff so quickly? I snapped out of it at the sound of the register beeping over and over again with his many purchases.
“Have these things delivered by end of day, no later.” He instructed the sales lady after paying, still with my son held snugly in his arms. Once back outside, my panic really began to rise when instead of taking the baby back to my car, he headed for his chauffeur-driven luxury vehicle where the driver was waiting with the backdoor open.
Once again, that scream started and died in my lungs, and it took every ounce of civility I had left not to scream bloody murder when Calen strapped my baby into the new state of the art baby seat he’d obviously just bought. I hovered like a fool until he straightened up and looked at me once again with that seeming disinterest in his eyes.
It hurt, oh how it hurt. I remember the heat those eyes used to hold when they looked at me. Remember, even more, the way they used to flash when we made love. I felt my cheeks redden seconds before his nostrils flared, and he gave me a fleeting look that I remembered so well. Surely I’d mistaken the look of passion I thought I saw because it was gone in a second only to be replaced by one of cold indifference.
“I’m taking Calen home with me.” My heart stopped when he turned to get into the car, leaving me standing there. “You may follow us if you wish.” He got in, and the driver closed the door before going to the driver’s seat, and I rushed to my car parked right next to his.
My hands were shaking so bad it took three tries to get the key in the ignition. Was it really going to be this easy to lose my son? It was only now as I saw the ease with which Calen had come between the two of us, how easy it had been for him to take the baby who hadn’t cried once and didn’t even seem to need me now that his dad was here, that I realized the real danger of that.
Cold sweat beaded on my brow as I tried to think of a way to stop this from happening. No argument I could come up with was good enough or strong enough to dispel the fact that I’d kept his son from him. I know him well enough to know that he’ll never forgive me for that. But I can’t let him take my son away from me. After everything I’d lost in my life to this point, I can’t lose my precious baby too. I’d rather die.
CALEN
“Say boss, that same car is following us again.” I didn’t look away from playing with my son’s fingers at the sound of Jeremy’s voice over the car’s intercom.
“Lose them.” I’d already sent the license plate number off to be investigated earlier after Jeremy realized that the strange car had been following us ever since we left Giselle’s place.
We’re not sure where or when we picked up the tail, but he’d noticed when the car followed us out of town. I’m not sure if they’re after me, or her, something I’ll know more of once the information comes back. If it was I they were after, I’ll deal with it. Though I don’t do the kind of