were starting to make sense in the last few minutes. The woman standing before me has been a friend for longer than I’d been married. She’s someone I’d trusted, someone I’d turned to in my darkest hour, but now I see that it was all a mistake on my end.
I vaguely remember Giselle bringing up the question of whether or not Dana had feelings for me once; I remember that I’d brushed her off, telling her that there was no way. Now I see that my wife had seen something that I hadn’t. I had to push that all aside for now, though, and stay focused on the here and now. I could see it in her now that I was looking, the way she was trying to read me, the way she was gearing herself up to lie.
But I wasn’t interested in anything she had to say. I had only one question; there was only one thing I wanted to know, so when she started talking, I cut her off. “Calen, I…”
“When did you learn about her mother?” It was a long shot, but after overhearing what I just did, I went with my gut.
“I didn’t…”
“Don’t lie to me. I’ve known you for fourteen years, I know you as well as I know myself, now when?”
She fidgeted around and looked everywhere but at me, a sure indication that she didn’t want to face me, didn’t want to admit to what I was asking. “If you don’t want to lose my friendship, you’ll answer me, and before you do, know that any form of deceit will be grounds for severing all ties.” I knew that would get her.
“You can’t be…” I started to walk away, and she grabbed onto my arm, which I pulled away, disgusted with her and the whole sordid situation.
“Please don’t, don’t walk away from me Calen, I couldn’t bear that.” How had I missed that look of hunger in her eyes all these years? She wasn’t hiding it very well now and it was all there for me to see. I felt sick.
“Then start talking.” I couldn’t bear to look at her any longer, so I walked to the nearest window to look out over the grounds, giving myself time to regroup. It was a lot to take in all at once, not only her true feelings for me, but the fact that she’d threatened my wife and son. I’d brought this into my home, around my family. I had to close my eyes and call on all the good that was left in me, which arguably isn’t a lot so as not to attack. I need to hear everything she has to say first.
“I didn’t know about her at first. Your ex and I were never that close, didn’t have anything in common, so there was never any reason for us to discuss such things as family. But then you stopped spending any time with the rest of us, so I decided that to stay close to you, I’d have to form some type of relationship with her.”
I wonder if she realized how she sneered when she mentioned my wife. Why had I never seen this contempt before? How had she kept it so well hidden? Did our other friends know about this? No, I refuse to believe that. Surely someone would’ve warned me at some point over the years.
She was the only female member of our very close knit group of friends who’d met on campus all those years ago and formed a bond that has lasted until this day. Someone I trusted without a doubt and thought I knew. Now her words were those of a stranger, each one making me sicker to my gut as the ramifications hit home.
“ I started pretending an interest in her, but she was always so standoffish, always acted like she was somehow better than me. I was your best friend, someone who knew you better than she did and yet she acted as if she needed to keep me at arm’s length, as if she were closer to you.”
Maybe because she was my wife, and in fact was closer to me than you or anyone else? I didn’t say that out loud as I’m sure it would’ve put an end to her confession, but I couldn’t resist a dig. “Maybe she sensed that you weren’t sincere. Did you ever think about that?”
I was barely holding onto my calm, so I kept my hands in my pockets