to great lengths to escape my mother’s clutches; it had taken years of planning and plotting to pull it off, and up until the moment I slipped away from my watchers and got onto the plane, I’d lived in fear.
No one knew that I’d applied and changed my name legally online and had procured all the necessary documents. I’d had a time of it getting a new birth certificate which I needed first to prove who I was, along with my social security card both of which I’d never even seen since my mother had all of that in her possession. Still, once I turned eighteen a few months before school ended and had all the information needed to fill out the forms, things became much easier than I thought.
Once I had my new identity in my hands, I felt a great sense of relief. I’d applied and been accepted to a university in the US, and with proof of my name change, the transition had been easy. The monster had helped me out somewhat in being able to afford the move. Not wanting others to see her for what she is, she has been generous over the years, always making sure I had spending money like the other girls in the convent turned boarding school she’d shipped me off to.
Though it was never as much as the others and nowhere near what my father’s estate could afford, it was enough for me to squirrel some away once I became old enough to understand what I needed to do. So, from the age of fourteen to eighteen, I’d been saving at least five hundred dollars a month, which was almost all the money she allowed me for my allowance.
I’d gone without anything but the bare necessities, and if anyone noticed anything, they never mentioned it. It helped that my mother the monster never visited and never cared to or showed much interest in how I was doing there. I learned early on who her spies were from the things she’d mention when she called to scold me which is the only time she’d call and knew how to comport myself in their presence so as not to give myself away.
I felt a shiver run down my spine and forced myself not to go too far down memory lane. There’s no use in letting my mind wander to the atrocities I endured because of her neglect and obvious disinterest; those days are long gone. I’d had a few blissful years without her, without the dark shadow of her existence hanging over my head, until she found me.
I bit into my nails as I paced back and forth in worry. Calen had been softening towards me last night, and sans the anal sex thing, which if I’m honest, I had enjoyed more than I had at any other time when we did it before, I was starting to believe that he might be willing to be less acidic towards me. There was no way that I could stay, but maybe we could work something out where we could both be in our son’s life.
If I were a good mother, I’d let him have our son, get him out of the line of fire, but my mind simply balks each time I think of it. And now, since seeing Calen again, I don’t know if I’d find the strength to walk away again.
Sometimes, like now, I’m mad at myself, at how weak I am in the face of someone like the monster and people like Dana. But maybe she’s right; maybe Calen and our son would be better off without me in their lives. It’s just so hard to face losing a second time around.
If only there were a way to escape my mother as I’d so bravely done in the past. But back then, I had only myself to think about. Now there’s Calen and my son. If only I could tell him the truth, what would he do? No, I can’t forget the threats the monster made against my son and the deal we made. She’d leave Calen alone let our baby live, only if I stay away from him. I dropped to the floor as my knees gave out at the hopelessness of it all.
CALEN
I had to take a few seconds to calm myself down after sending my woman and son from the room. This is the last thing I expected when I walked through the door, but many things