actually enjoyed putting her in her place. I would not leave downtrodden. Beaten. “Because if you believe me that means the person who told you was lying. And was this person someone of high quality?”
She flushed, flipping the pages of her ledger. The housekeeper wouldn’t dare answer. She wouldn’t condemn royalty. I had her. In that moment, I had her.
“So, of course you won’t believe me, which means,” I stood, “I should pack my bag.”
She froze, startled by my bluntness. I almost laughed at the look of shock upon her face. “Then, you’re saying you don’t deny you dallied with a man—”
“Why should I answer either way?” I started toward the door. “Of course, you know as women it’s our lot in life to be condemned, at the mercy of men. You’d think as women, we’d stand up for each other. But it doesn’t matter what I do or say, you found me guilty the moment a man told you what he’d seen.”
“How’d you know it was a man?”
I didn’t bother to look back. “Lucky guess.” At the door, I paused, I just couldn’t help myself. “By the by, it’s true. I did dally with one of the male visitors, and I enjoyed it. Very much.”
I shut the door on her gasp of outrage. The moment the door closed my bravado wavered. I’d be shunned. No recommendation. What would I do? How would I survive? My hands fisted, my heart hammering. Damn it all, but it had felt so bloody good to speak my mind. To say the truth for once.
“Miss Ginny.” Henry stood in the hall, cap in hand, looking so solemn that if I hadn’t been taught at an early age to hide my emotions, I might have cried. “I want you to know that I’ll marry you. I’ll quit my position. Get a job at the docks, or a factory and we can marry. You don’t have to be alone on the streets.”
I sighed. Could I marry him? Could I allow him to give up a prime position as a footman when I didn’t love him? It was obvious he got pleasure from his job. And just the thought of him touching me, kissing me, made me cringe. No. I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t use someone so innocent, so caring.
“I’m sorry, Henry, but I have no plans to marry…ever.”
He blushed and looked away. “I see.”
“It’s not you. I promise.”
He nodded, pasted a tight smile upon his face, and shuffled away. Anger replaced my guilt. This was Gabe’s fault. Him. Only him. The blasted man. I started down the hall. I would not regret my outburst. I would regret nothing.
I paused just outside the kitchen, breathing in the familiar scent of baking bread. The hum of activity as servants rushed back and forth had become as familiar as the sound of the cook singing Christmas ditties. The older woman caught my gaze, only to look quickly away. She knew. Who else did?
“Ginny?” Vi called out, coming into the kitchen, linens in hand. Despite the fact that she had as little sleep as I had in the last month, she looked happy, at ease. She belonged here amongst the soft beds and clean linens. Amongst people who spoke in gentle, refined tones. “You look upset. What’s wrong?”
She hadn’t heard. I swallowed hard. “I’ve been let go.”
The disappointment that crossed her face was almost my undoing. “What do you mean?” She set the linens on a chair. I didn’t miss the way her hands shook. “How? Why?”
I flushed, ashamed to tell her the truth. If she didn’t hear it from me, she would hear it from others. Besides, Vi and I didn’t have secrets. “I was caught kissing a man.”
She laughed. “You? No! I won’t believe it!”
I took her hand and pulled her into the hall, away from prying eyes. I should have known she wouldn’t believe me. More than one person had called me the ice queen while we’d worked in the factory. “Violet, it’s true.”
“Gads Ginny.” She cupped my shoulders and brought me close. “Did he force himself on you? We’ll talk to Mrs. Finch. Surely, they’ll make an exception this time. Just once.”
“Oh Vi. It wouldn’t matter if he had or hadn’t, they would still let me go, you know that. Mrs. Finch has wanted me gone since I walked through the door.”
She shook her head, stubborn wench. “No. We’ll talk to—”