embarrassed, and they wouldn’t relent until they had his name.”
Lilly and Jules shared a worried glance. I knew what they were thinking: the man could be an acquaintance. Someone they knew. A friend, even. Surely not. I’d never heard his name mentioned in the many months I’d been here. And I’d been disgustingly eager for news. I told myself that if I heard he’d married, I could let him go. But I knew the truth.
“Please,” I added.
Jules gave a curt nod. “Never.”
“We promise,” Lillian said at the same time.
The relief I felt was immediate. I knew without doubt they’d keep their promise. I hadn’t the slightest desire to discuss the affair with Gabe. How utterly embarrassing that would be. And I knew my brothers well enough to know they would demand answers, answers I wasn’t ready to give.
“I admit, your brothers are making plans now,” Jules murmured apologetically. “To launch you gently into society.”
I stiffened. “Without my say?”
“They seem to think they are allowed to control our lives.” Jules shook her head. “As if they know better.”
“I am not a child,” I snapped.
Lilly reached out, taking my hand. “Would you like for us to talk to them?”
They were wonderful for asking, but for the last three years I’d felt as if I’d had so little say in my own life, it was time to take control. “I will speak to them.”
“Tis best to set them straight now,” Jules added. “Otherwise they’ll walk all over you, they will. They’re in the library.”
“Very well.”
Furious, I marched into the foyer. Footmen were wrapping boughs around the banister, but the holiday spirit was lost on me. How dare my brothers. I’d lived on my own for years. I’d survived in parts of the country they wouldn’t set foot. How dare they act as if I was a moron who couldn’t decide her own fate.
My face burned with righteous anger by the time I made it into the library, but I faltered at the door. It was still hard to align myself with the fact that I was related to such tall, handsome men. Two stood near the fireplace, glasses in hand. The other two were seated in leather armchairs. They all wore buff riding breeches and arrogant demeanors.
How strange it was to connect the men before me with the boys who had haunted my dreams. They had teased me at times. I remembered that much. But they had also done everything in their power to protect me. That didn’t mean I’d allow them to control my life now.
“Evie,” James said by way of greeting.
They watched me warily, most likely spotting the signs of an irate female, and sensing something was amiss, but afraid to ask. I felt my resolve falter under their gazes. Would they listen? Would they take me seriously?
I took in a deep, trembling breath. No. I would not relent. “You will not decide my fate.”
James frowned and pushed away from the mantel, starting across the room. “Now, Evie, you misunderstand what—”
“No!” I held up my hand to warn him off. He paused. “You misunderstand me. I am not some pathetic, naïve innocent. I grew up in the slums. I saw things that would make even you cringe.”
Jamie’s jaw clenched. There was that blasted guilt again. How I despised seeing the pity in their gazes. Oliver, at least, stared at the flames in the hearth, as if lost in thought. Rafe and William both looked as uneasy as James.
“We merely want to do what is best for you, poppet,” James said.
I cringed. Poppet? Good lord. “I’m a grown woman. A mother. I can decide what is best for me.”
“Papa!” Millie rushed into the room, breezing by me so fast my skirts fluttered. “I had a bad dream.”
James scooped her up, cuddling her close and my heart softened. It was so very hard to be angry at them, they were such caring men. If only all fathers were as devoted as James and William.
“Did you?” James asked, kissing the girl. “How dare the dream fairy allow a nightmare to get through her defenses. She is not doing her job. I shall have a stern talking with her.”
“Oh do,” the child whispered, resting her head upon his shoulder. “Can you put me to bed?”
James looked at me, in question.
I gave a curt nod.
James kissed the side of his daughter’s head. “Of course I can, poppet.”
Did he even realize he called me the same endearment he called his child? Rubbing her back gently, he moved