same question that has been repeating in my head ever since I agreed to move in with a man whose career is less than honorable.
Ari, with the dented and scuffed halo he wears for what he did for me, still has to answer for so much. For the past few weeks, I’ve tried to make peace with it.
I can’t change him.
Nobody can.
And I’m left with learning how to accept him for who he is, just like he accepted me.
“How do you do it, Lincoln? How do you do what you do and sleep well at night? How does Ari? People are dead because of you.”
He blows out a breath as he crosses the room to lean on the edge of the desk.
“We’re not out there killing saints. Every single one of the men we’ve taken out was responsible for the destruction of someone else. We all have our crimes, just some of us hide it better.”
“And that’s how you justify it?”
Giving me a look that leaves no room for question, Lincoln crosses his arms over his chest.
“We don’t need justification. Ari doesn’t give a damn, and neither do I. You’ve already been warned of that. We’re not good people. But for whatever reason, you’ve become a soft spot for Ari. The only one I know of. It is -“
“What it is,” I finish for him. “I know.”
Quietly, he says what I’ve already figured out.
“You just need to take him as he is. Who knows? Maybe you’ll rub off on him someday. Most likely not. But there’s a chance.”
Ari is the definition of stubborn. I highly doubt anybody could rub off on him. He’s too set in his ways. Too controlled.
Snapping fingers cause us to turn to the door where Ari stands glaring at us both. Humor dances behind his eyes as he points at me and then Lincoln.
“What have I told you two about talking in places where I can’t keep an eye on you? No teamwork. That shit is done.”
A low grumble sounds from Lincoln’s chest. “And you’ll do what about it, exactly? I’d love to know.”
The two men stare at each other, and it makes me laugh. One day I’ll learn to push Ari’s buttons as easily as Lincoln.
“I’m taking off anyway,” Lincoln says as he pushes away from the desk. “The house is clean, and the realtors can start doing their thing tomorrow.”
I’ve decided to finally sell the house. Some part of me knew to keep it when I married Grant, but now that I’ll be moving in with Ari, I know there’s no reason to hold onto it anymore. I won’t be coming back.
Outside, the sun is beginning to set, the day insanely long while I packed what I wanted to keep and decided what would go. It wasn’t as difficult this time as it had been when I moved in with Grant. Over the course of the last year, I haven’t collected too many personal things.
The instruments were all moved to Ari’s new penthouse, the furniture donated. What’s left is just my clothes and a few odds and ends that will most likely stay in boxes since my style doesn’t quite match the strict lines of black and chrome that make up Ari’s place.
Staying quiet until it’s just Ari and me left in the room, I relax against him when he steps up behind me to wrap his arms around my waist. His scent soothes me, just like it always has.
Despite our differences, Ari is the missing piece in my life, his sharp edges fitting perfectly with mine.
He’s a killer, yet the only person who helps me sleep. He’s been the constant shadow, once again within my reach. It doesn’t make sense, but then nothing in life really ever does. Especially when it comes to what matters. What we choose to keep. And what we choose to let go.
“I was standing right by that tree on the night I first saw you.”
My hands slide over his, our fingers tangling together. “Did he say anything that night?”
Ari sighs. “Not a word.”
“And you didn’t find it odd he’d asked you to do what you did?”
Silence for a beat, and then, “It mattered little to me. I was doing a job. Just like any other.”
I don’t answer, and he presses his lips against the side of my neck, his breath warm against my skin. “Do you want to stay a little while longer?”
Thinking back on all the nightmares, all the pain, all the ghosts of the past that