in my head, perversely comforting. If I just did what he’d told me to do, I could zone out and continue to exist for a little while longer. Once Joseph returned to me, I’d have to confess my horrific sin, and my heart would shatter.
After he’d opened up to me about his crimes this morning, about the man who had died because of his actions, I’d been ready to trust him again. I’d almost been ready to say I love you.
Now, that was ruined. How could I possibly tell him I loved him when I’d just cheated with Marco?
I shuddered and turned up the heat of the water. My skin was suddenly far too chilled.
I stayed in the shower for a long time, allowing the scalding water to beat down on me until I couldn’t stand it anymore.
When I was dry and dressed in fresh clothes, I moved back out into the bedroom and settled myself at the desk. I opened the notes my classmate had uploaded for me. Marco had printed them out—I still hadn’t been granted access to the internet, even though I’d been allowed to write a few more emails to Jayme. My father hadn’t even deigned to reply to my first message about taking time off from school, so there had been no need to send him any more emails.
I shied away from that fresh layer of pain. My heart couldn’t take it.
I was letting down everyone I loved. I was a failure, a traitor. A disappointment.
I swiped away a stray tear and focused on the notes, trying to absorb the information. If I could just succeed at academics, maybe I could at least win my father’s affection back.
For hours, I stared at the pages before me, slowly flipping through them before backtracking to try to actually read the words I’d been glossing over.
I jolted when the bedroom door opened. Marco hadn’t bothered to knock.
I didn’t look at him, but I could feel his approach. He set down a glass of water and a perfectly golden grilled cheese beside my notes. A thick, dark chocolate brownie was plated separately, delicately dusted with powdered sugar.
“You didn’t eat enough at lunch, princess. I know it’s a little early for dinner, but you must be hungry.”
I nodded, a rote motion. I wasn’t hungry. I was just…empty.
He tucked my hair behind my ear, and I flinched. He withdrew slowly. I could feel the weight of his eyes considering me, but I kept my gaze glued to my notes.
He sighed. “I’ll be back for those plates in half an hour. I expect them to be empty. Do you understand?”
He was using that authoritative tone again. So, I nodded my agreement.
Another beat of heavy silence passed before his footsteps retreated. Moving as though in a dream, I ate the sandwich. It was perfect; just crispy enough, with at least four types of gooey cheese inside. The flavors were comforting, and I devoured the whole thing in a matter of minutes without thinking.
The decadent brownie should’ve been cloying on my acid tongue, but even though I was devastated, I couldn’t deny the allure of chocolate.
When I was finished, I went back to staring at my notes.
Marco came to retrieve the plates a while later. His murmured “good girl” made a thread of warmth curl in my chest, but it did little to ease the chill inside.
Time passed. I went through the notes again, flipping the pages every few minutes to give myself something to do.
I didn’t realize that night was falling until Marco came and flipped on the light. I blinked against the sudden illumination, but I kept my eyes downcast when he approached.
“It’s time to put your notes away. Brush your teeth and get ready for bed,” he ordered.
It seemed early for that, but I wasn’t really doing anything, anyway. Sleep sounded like a good idea.
I nodded again.
I did as he instructed, and a while later, my mouth tasted minty fresh as I tucked myself under the duvet. The silky pink nightgown Joseph had bought for me glided across my skin as I moved, but I barely registered the lush sensation. I closed my eyes and drifted, somewhere between sleep and wakefulness.
Sometime later, the soft click of the bedside lamp turning on roused me. I rolled onto my back and opened my eyes to find Joseph looking down at me, a small smile curving his sensual lips.
“Hey, angel. I missed you.”
A harsh sob tore from my chest, and I turned my face