didn’t tell you.” I wipe my eyes with my hand. “I was in denial.”
She stands, gives me her hand, and pulls me to my feet. “You will be a good mom, Chels, you’ve been our mom from the start anyway.”
Her thin arms wrap around me and she gives me a very one-sided hug, before I go wash my blotchy face and put on some makeup and proper clothes. Sal isn’t used to seeing yoga pants on me. Making sure I don’t look like I feel, I pull my hair up into a smooth ponytail and force a smile on my face.
The vicious sound of his car’s engine can be heard even from up here when he pulls up on the no parking line in front of the building. It growls like he does, as if it’s an extension of his personality.
Shoulders back, chin up, I wink at my sister and slip out of the front door. I take the stairs because the elevator is temperamental and I’d rather not get stuck in it today; the maintenance guy takes forever to come.
When I burst through the doors of my building Sal is standing against his car, arms folded across his chest. He has a suit on. It’s Sunday, he was supposed to be at church. I feel guilty.
“Get in the car, Bunny. I think we need to talk.”
Stepping aside, he opens the door for me. I stop just a step away from him and look into those dark eyes. When I do, he leans in and kisses my forehead, and my fears melt at the affection. Even through his anger, I feel we are connected, no matter what he says.
Suddenly a world of truths sink into my head. I don’t even know his last name. I don’t know anything about him. I have all these feelings and he’s a ghost. The possibility that I may be climbing into a car and never coming back makes my hair stand on end. He is too calm, or am I going crazy?
He said we’d keep it casual. I don’t need to know everything about him. All my common sense left me the day he touched me and it’s just returning now.
My lip quivers and I fight the threat of more tears, as his shadow moves past the window and my door clicks closed. I put my purse between my feet and sit on my hands because I don’t know what to do with them.
Sal slides in like always – so smoothly. Everything about him is smooth, shiny, and almost too good to be true. He doesn’t start the engine like he would usually. Instead he turns to face me and the deep wrinkles around his eyes are more noticeable. The worry lines on his forehand and the dull ache in his expression invade my space just by being present.
“Were you going to tell me?” he asks, and the anger in his messages isn’t in his voice. Instead he sounds hurt, like I have wounded him with my actions.
“Tomorrow.” I nod. “I was going to tell you tomorrow. Who told you?”
“It doesn’t matter who told me, it matters that you told someone else before you told me.”
He’s right, so I don’t argue with him. Hanging my head in shame, because I am ashamed of my actions, I can’t look at him anymore.
“What was the plan, Bunny?”
“I didn’t have one, I still don’t. I don’t expect anything from you, Sal, maybe that’s why I didn’t tell you. You made it clear from the beginning what this was, and a baby doesn’t exactly fit into those terms and conditions.”
Sal places a hand on my leg. The reassuring gesture calms my thundering heartbeat just a little. I expected anger, an outburst, I expected him to scream and shout at me.
“I wish you had told me first. I don’t like other people knowing my business, Chelsey.”
I notice he called me by my name and not Bunny.
He starts the car and pulls away slowly, not like he would normally roar into the traffic. After a few minutes of silence, I turn to look at him. His eyes are fixed on the road ahead and his hands are clasped tightly on the wheel, making his knuckles white. The buildings pass in a blur and I lose track of which direction we are going, and I can’t stand the quiet anymore.
“Are you going to say anything else, Sal?” I ask.
“What do you want me to say? You aren’t expecting anything from me,