scared; we all have.”
Thirrin didn’t answer for a while, then when she finally spoke, some of the usual steel had crept back into her voice. “I don’t want you to think I’m scared of dying. It’s not that. It’s not that at all. It’s more that I’m afraid of failing, of letting down the House of Lindenshield. I’m carrying centuries of expectations and responsibilities. Everybody wants me to tell them what to do, and at the same time they want me to live up to the legacy of all the Ironsides, Bears of the North, and Spear Maidens. And sometimes it’s just too much….”
Unable to think of anything constructive to say, Oskan put his arm around her shoulder and said, “I’m happy for you just to be Thirrin.”
At that moment the heavy tread of a housecarl sounded outside, and they leaped apart as though scolded. Approaching along the narrow walkway was the captain of the guard, and with him walked Tharaman-Thar.
“Report, Captain Osgood,” Thirrin barked a little too sharply.
“All’s quiet, My Lady. Apart from one idiot who slipped on the steps and has probably broken his wrist. If My Lord, Oskan, could have a look at him —”
“My Lord Oskan has enough to do without tending to every half-drunken housecarl who misses his footing on the ice.”
“It was a cavalry trooper, actually, Ma’am,” Captain Osgood answered.
“Well, whoever!” Thirrin snapped again. “My adviser’s too busy.”
The captain saluted silently and moved on to complete his rounds, leaving Tharaman-Thar to look searchingly at his ally.
“I’ve been thinking about the healing side of things, Thirrin. Captain Osgood has just reminded me,” said Oskan. “We’ve got most of it organized, but the witches with their healers’ skills aren’t here yet, and we’ve still got a way to go before the infirmary’s ready. Converting an old stable to a place of healing takes a lot of work, and I’ve been shirking my share of the effort. I think I’d better go and help.”
“Whatever you think is necessary,” Thirrin answered, recognizing the good sense of his words but still in an uncertain mood after Oskan’s embrace.
“Good, I’ll get on to that now, then. And while I’m at it, I’ll take a look at that trooper’s wrist,” he said, and scurried off as though feeling guilty about something.
“The Queen and her Warlock seem uneasy,” said Tharaman-Thar when they were alone.
Thirrin looked at him, annoyed. “It’s quite bad enough being only fourteen without having to fight a war and run a country as well. Do you wonder that ‘the Queen and her Warlock seem uneasy’?”
“No, I suppose not,” said the leopard. “But sometimes even warriors have to admit they’re just people before all else. And queens who are still girls, and warlocks who are still boys, should allow themselves to be young once in a while.”
“We haven’t the time, Tharaman.”
“No, I suppose not. There are many who are looking to a time after the war to start living their lives again.”
“If that’s an unsubtle attempt to tell me there are people worse off than myself, save yourself the effort. I’m well aware of that, but it doesn’t make it one bit easier to deal with my own problems,” Thirrin answered irritably. “To be really honest, I think if anybody did derive comfort from the fact that ‘there’s always someone worse off than yourself,’ they’d have to be a pretty sad and sick individual. If I’ve sprained my wrist, I’m not made happier by the thought that someone somewhere has broken their leg!”
“Well, that’s telling me,” said Tharaman humorously. “Now that I’ve been put thoroughly in my place, might I humbly suggest that we go inside and have some more of that delicious mulled wine we had earlier with Olememnon?”
Thirrin suddenly smiled and hugged the huge leopard. “Oh, I’m sorry, Tharaman. I’ve been snappy with everyone recently. I suppose I’m fed up with waiting for things to start happening. I just want to get on with it and reach whatever conclusion is destined.”
“Well, that goes for me, too. But while we’ve got a breathing space, let’s try and enjoy it.” A deep rumbling purr vibrated through his chest, and he laughed. “Olememnon has challenged me to a drinking contest. The first one to fall asleep is the loser. I think I’ll take him up on it now.”
“Is that a good idea? Elemnestra won’t be pleased.”
“Won’t she? Good. Come on, you can be referee.”
24
Spring slowly awoke from its winter sleep, stretching out its greenery and new life from the south. Rivers