don’t eat anything or go anywhere. I don’t trust myself to venture outside. I doubt I have the presence of mind not to stumble into oncoming traffic.
When the sun is setting, I decide to go back to the same restaurant I went to last night.
It’s an unconscious decision. My feet take me in that direction of their own will. I look up from my day-long daze to find myself standing in front of the restaurant’s door with no recollection of how I got there.
I go inside. Take a seat at the bar. Order a white wine from Harley.
He takes one look at my face and whistles, shaking his head.
“Sweetheart, I think you need something stronger.” He pushes a shot of tequila in front of me and leaves me alone.
I close my eyes and shoot the tequila, savoring the burn as it works its way down my windpipe because it distracts from the burn a few inches lower inside my chest.
To my right, a low voice says, “I only left because you said ‘once.’ If I’d stayed until you woke in my arms, I wouldn’t have been able to honor that.”
My heart. Oh, my poor heart. It’s never had to deal with anything like this. It doesn’t know whether to explode or stop beating altogether.
I turn and look at Killian, seated on the stool beside me.
He’s dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt again, but this time he’s missing the Western boots and cowboy hat. All the masculine beauty and scorching sexuality are still there though, in spades. The woman on the stool on his other side stares at him with an unfurled tongue and heaving bosom.
I say, “I got your note.” That’s all I can get out before my throat closes.
Eyes burning, he watches me swallow. Watches as I struggle to pull myself together, turning away to blow out a hard breath.
My heart pounds so hard it could be fatal. Having him this close to me after everything that happened last night is causing nerves I didn’t even know I owned to bolt upright and start screaming.
He reaches out, slides his big hand under my hair, and gently squeezes the back of my neck. Then he leans over and presses a soft kiss against my temple. Into my ear, he murmurs, “I know, lass. Me too.”
How can he see me so clearly? How does he always know what I’m feeling without me speaking a word?
I whisper, “This can’t happen.”
“It already has.”
Anger forms a hot, sour ball in my stomach, but only because I know he’s right.
“Look at me.”
It takes me a moment to gather the courage to do as he commanded. When I do, I find him staring back at me with searing intensity.
His voice low, he says, “But what happens next is up to you. I won’t pressure you. I’ll disappear if that’s what you really want. I only ask that you’re honest with me. Let’s not play any games.”
His expression is dead serious. His eyes search mine. His thumb gently strokes the nape of my neck, raising goosebumps all along my spine.
Fighting the emotion clawing its way up my throat, I say, “I forgot to thank you for the necklace.”
“You’re welcome. Tell me when I can kiss you. I need your mouth.”
I break eye contact, trying not to hyperventilate but failing. Looking at the chalkboard menu on the wall behind the bar, I stammer, “And—and the roses. Thank you for those, too.”
“I can’t stop thinking about how you taste. How you sound. How you claw my back when you come. I want more of all of it. I want more of you.”
Closing my eyes, I whisper, “Killian. Please.”
He drags me off my barstool, onto his lap, and into his arms.
Squeezing me tight, he inhales deeply against my throat. His voice comes out husky. “Let me in. Let me take care of you. Give me your trust, and I’ll give you the world. I’ll give you anything you ask for.”
“This is insane.”
“Aye. Who cares? It’s real, and that’s what matters.”
The sweetness of his words, the gentleness of his voice, the tender way he’s holding me…the man is breaking my heart.
My face hidden in his neck, I whisper, “Can you understand how hard this is for me? How this seems like it could be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done?”
“I’m not your father, Juliet.”
When I groan and try to pull away, he takes my jaw in his hand and forces me to look at him.
“I’m not your fucking father.”
His tone