only visited once in a few months. Then, after I turned fifteen, he never showed up again. I don’t think he ever plans to return.”
There’s a hesitation. A hope. Fuck me. Is she hoping he’d return? I have to rectify that belief one day.
“For a long time, it was only me and Maman. Then, she had brain cancer in my senior year. I chose nursing so I could take care of her. For seven years, we fought.” Her voice breaks and she wipes her eyes – even when there aren’t tears.
“Despite the failed surgeries and recovery plans, we fought. I should’ve known she wanted to give up and spend whatever time she had left with me in our home, not strapped to hospital machines and in pain. I was selfish. I didn’t want only a few weeks with her. I wanted a lifetime, and so I pushed her for another operation. An operation which she didn’t survive.”
“There you have it.” She smiles at me as a tear slides down her cheek and into her mouth. “I killed my mother.”
“No, you didn’t. Cancer did.” I want to pull her in my arms, but the risk of her running away again makes me stop. “Is that why you wanted to die?”
“Why are you saying it in past tense?” Her shoulders stiffen. “I still want to die.”
“I thought you said you wanted to feel alive.”
She folds her arms, foot tapping on the dirt. “It’s impossible for someone like me. It’s better if I just die.”
“You mean easier. And cowardly.”
Her stance widens as she glares at me. “Who the hell do you think you are to judge me?”
“I’m judging your fucking lies. You don’t want to die, Nurse Betty.”
“I said that I do!”
In a second, I clutch her nape with one hand. The other locks her wrists behind her back as I drag her to the edge of the cliff.
Eloise yelps. Pebbles roll from underneath her feet and fall several metres before meeting the water.
“Let me make your wish come true, then,” I whisper-yell against her ear. “I usually charge a lot for a kill, but I’ll do yours for free. Consider it bloody charity. One push is enough to shatter your skull against those rocks. One push and it will be game fucking over.”
A full body shiver goes through her. She’s quivering in my arms, her face flushed red. Wide green eyes stare at the water below unblinking.
Fuck me.
Is she really contemplating this?
I can’t let her die. Not now when she’s finally digging into herself.
But instead of aborting this on my own, I need her to be the one who takes the step. The one who decides.
“What will it be, huh?” I push her further until one of her legs dangles over the edge. Her flip-flop falls into the water. “How long do you think it will take them to find your decayed body in the middle of nowhere?”
“No!” She screams, turning so abruptly in my arms, I lose balance and fall backwards. The dirt hits my back as I pull her with me.
Eloise’s arms encircle my waist, face buried in my chest and legs trapped between my own. That’s when I feel them.
Tears.
I’m so fucking amazed and proud by her courage, something inside me snaps.
I know a few things about courage, but even hardened men cower like fucking pussies in their last moments.
But this woman?
This tiny, fierce woman clinging to me with all her might?
She’s not having it.
She makes me question things I thought were a given.
I pull her head from my chest and capture her lips in a ferocious kiss.
Eloise isn’t the only one who needs to feel alive. I’ve been searching for this exact sensation, the passion, the knowledge that I could be something more. And it’s all because of this woman in my arms.
She makes me crave things. Impossible things.
Like wanting to remain alive.
Eloise
Crow is kissing me.
His lips are hard and soft at the same time, pulling me under like the ocean in his eyes. I melt in his strong arms as he claims my mouth.
It’s rough and passionate and tender and needy all at once. It should be wrong. He’s a killer who just tried to push me off the cliff. And yet, it only feels right.
Absolutely right.
All the terror I felt a few seconds ago morphs into something foreign and... thrilling. My stomach tightens, and energy ripples through me.
Crow tugs on my hair. I gasp in his mouth, and he takes the opportunity to devour me.
He pushes