It’s better this way. I want a family. I want someone to pass this ranch down to. I want to at least try to be happy.”
“It’s not unreasonable,” Rylan rasps.
“So, party at my place Friday, invite everyone. Beaumont is still in California.”
Turning away from them, I’m sure it’s rude, but I do it anyway and I walk into the barn and saddle up Starlight. Climbing up, I ride her far away from it all. I need to herd the cattle toward water anyway. Mostly, I need air and space to just breathe.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
FORD
The three trucks barreling down my lane honk their horns as they swerve to miss the potholes that I’ve never bothered to repair. I’m sure their alignments are completely fucked by the time they stop in front of the farmhouse.
“We’re here,” Channing calls out.
I watch as the women jump out of the trucks, then go back to the babies in their car seats. I see his flash of blond hair and brace myself as Reese sprints toward me. Reaching down, I scoop him up in my arms, spinning him around with a chuckle.
“You stock the pond for me, Unca Ford?” he asks.
“Got your gear all ready to go.” I laugh softly.
“Guess we’re goin’ fishin’,” Rylan calls out.
“After we eat?” I ask, shifting my gaze to Reese.
He tilts his head to the side, contemplating as if he has a choice. “Okay, that should be just enough time that they’re hungry for dinner too, right?”
Smiling, I nod my head. “Yeah.”
He wriggles in my arms and I let him down. He runs off to see Starlight in the barn, in plain view of us, as I greet the rest of the group. I hug all the women, tickle the babies, then shake my friends’ hands.
What I don’t do is mention Stephanie, at all. I need one night where she isn’t the only thing that I think about until I drink myself into a stupor and pass out. Tonight is about friendship, food and maybe a date.
“Let’s eat out back at the picnic table, is it clean?” Exeter asks, calling out from the kitchen.
I look back from the grill to the picnic table and cringe. “Sure,” I lie.
Louis, Rylan, and Wyatt chuckle as they start to help me clear it off. I call out to Reese to bring the water hose, because the amount of dirt and dust on this fucker is not going to come off with any kind of cleaning spray and paper towels.
It’s a joint effort that doesn’t take long. By the time the girls start bringing the food out and the meat is finished, it looks like a whole new back patio. Everyone sets the food out on the table. The plates are stacked at the end, we all grab a plate, then pile the food high before we sit down.
Reese wiggles at his seat, his gaze focused on the fishing pond, too excited to try to reel in a big one. Conversation flows freely, and once again, I just listen, not having much to add. Don’t have kids, don’t have a wife, don’t have co-workers.
It’s just me and while I like it being just me, I always kind of forget, not being reminded how much I’m really missing until I see what I could have in front of me like this.
After the food is consumed, we all lean back and continue to talk while Rylan, Wyatt, and Louis take Reese out to the pond, ditching me with the women.
I’m kind of pissed that it’s not me, because I can feel the mood shift as soon as the little ears are gone and away.
“What happened in LA, Ford?” Tulip hints.
Shaking my head, I lift my gaze to meet hers. “Doesn’t matter. You got a friend for me?” I ask, getting straight to the point.
I’m sure she doesn’t like that, but I don’t really care. I need this to move the fuck on, or at least to try.
“Ford,” Exeter whispers.
Closing my eyes, I open them and look at the three women that I love like sisters. They care, it’s obvious by the concerned look in their eyes. It’s just that I’m really fucking tired. I want what they have, even if I have to fake some of it until the day that I die, that’s fine, I can do that.
I will do that.
“We have someone. How about next weekend? Dinner in Marble Falls, at that cute little Italian place right on the highway?”