know is that I want Ford and I don’t really care about anything else right now.
FORD
I don’t sleep. I barely eat. Seems as though my life has regained its normalcy since everything went to shit, again. The only good things to come out of the past few months is that Erica stocked me up, so when I do want to eat again, I’ll have something jarred in my pantry. Also, selling my beef cattle went better than I’d imagined, and I won’t be flat fucking broke after I pay all of my bills.
“You better not avoid the girls much longer, Exeter is starting to take it personally,” a voice calls out.
Pausing, I lift my head, shifting my hat off to wipe the sweat off of my brow and look at Wyatt and Rylan who are both standing a few feet away from me.
“Not avoiding anyone. I got them girls on a mission, they find me a date yet?” I ask.
“A wife, you mean?” Wyatt asks on a chuckle.
“Same thing,” I say with a shrug.
Rylan shakes his head, his eyes searching my face, and I find that he’s far too fucking observant. I don’t say anything else, instead just watching, and waiting for them to tell me whatever the fuck they came here to say. I know them and I know at least Wyatt has something on his mind.
“You need to tell us what the fuck happened,” Wyatt finally says with a sigh.
I grunt, jerking my chin toward my YETI cooler full of water, beer, and Gatorade. Lifting the top, I dip my chin and watch as they each take out a water, I do too, even if the beer is calling my name. It’s too early in the day to crack a cold one right now though, even though it sounds really fucking good right about now.
“Went to her, she’s mixed up with her ex and some bad shit he got her into. I left.”
“You left her in trouble?” Rylan grinds out.
Sitting down on the top of the cooler lid, I rest my forearms against my knees and tilt my head up to look at them.
“I walked away because that was a mess she inserted herself into. Probably makes me a dick. God knows I feel like one and the guilt is eating me up every minute of every day.”
“Why’d you do it then?” Wyatt asks, his voice calm and even.
Shaking my head, I close my eyes for a moment. “I could have stayed, fought that fight with her, but at the end of the day, I can’t make her choose me. She ran away from me, to him, in an effort to save him and I suppose self-preservation. What she didn’t do was talk to me, again.”
“I get it,” Wyatt whispers. “She keeps making decisions for you.”
I grunt. He knows exactly how it feels, and how it makes you feel. Helpless. Completely fucking helpless and for a man to feel that way, especially men like us, it’s just too fucking much.
“What happens now?” Rylan asks.
Standing, I lift my hand and wrap my fingers around the back of my neck as my gaze flicks to each of my friends. I’ve known them my entire life, along with Beaumont and Louis, they’re the best men I’ve ever known. I trust them, value their opinions, but I don’t want them when it comes to this situation.
“The girls want to come out here, have a party Friday night? That’d be good. Erica made all kinds of canned shit and stocked my pantry. I can’t eat everything I got. We’ll have a cookout.”
“Okay, but you and Stephanie?” Rylan presses.
“Told her she knew where I was. But I’m not going to wait for her, I can’t. She made her choice. Fucking sucks that this is what it is, but I can’t change it either.”
“So, you’re going to leave her in danger? That don’t sound much like the Ford I know,” Wyatt points out.
“That fuck got her mixed up with the fucking mafia,” I hiss. “She thinks they’re friendly. Aside from dragging her out here, she made it pretty fucking clear that she had things to do there. And don’t forget, she ran to him.”
“It’s about pride?” Rylan asks.
I snort. “Went to her, didn’t I?”
“But did you humble yourself for her?” Wyatt asks.
“Been humble for her my whole fucking life. It’s only ever been Stephanie for me. No other woman has ever compared and I expected her to feel the same way when she never has.