by my ex-fiancé, a selfish asshole who only wants to further his career and control me for the sake of controlling me and nothing else. He didn’t like the fact that I left him, so he’s devised some plan to keep me tethered to him.
“She’s not going to tell us, Channing, let’s go. But I just want to say, whatever the reason you’re walking away from him, if you just told him about it, he would help you fight those demons, whatever they are.”
“He can’t fight my battles for me,” I whisper.
Exeter shakes her head, opening her mouth, but it’s Channing who speaks first. “You underestimate these men, you underestimate Ford. That’s exactly what he can do and he will if you let him, just like Rylan did for me and Wyatt did for Exeter.”
Without another word, I watch as they turn and walk away from me, leaving three burgers and three orders of fries sitting right in front of me.
I do something that I haven’t done in at least fifteen years. I sit down at the dining room table and I binge on all three burgers and fries as I cry. Because I know, without a doubt, that they’re right.
Ford would chase, fight, and end any fucking battle for me, gladly. I’m just not allowing him to. And I won’t. Not because I’m being overly stubborn, which let’s face it, I know that I can be, but also because this is something that I need to deal with myself.
FORD
I don’t even bother driving to town to check for myself. I already know that she’s gone, I can feel it. It’s been days since I’ve seen her or heard from her. Wyatt reported the donation truck at her parents’ house this morning and the real estate sign that went up shortly afterward.
As I ride Starlight out toward the fence that I should be finished mending, but I’m not, I try not to think about Stephanie, my Stevie, leaving me once again. With a heavy sigh, I dismount her and get to work.
I spend the rest of the afternoon and too far into the evening working. It’s better to be out here than it is sitting inside of my empty house. It’s goddamn depressing.
When the sun completely sets and the darkness takes over to the point where I can’t see a fucking thing, only then do I pack up my shit and head back home. I left all of my supplies out here the last time I was here, only taking my tool bag with me.
Climbing up on Starlight, I don’t take off for the house immediately. Instead, I look up at the moon as it shines down.
How have I let my life come to this? Thirty-five years old and completely alone. Everyone around me has their shit together and I’m still fucking nameless women in bars. Tugging on Starlight’s reins, I guide her home slowly. I’m in no rush. I’ll probably just take a shower and climb into bed right before I pass out.
Work is the only thing keeping me from finding my way to Stephanie and begging her to come back to me. I don’t mind humbling myself, but I’m not going to make a fool out of myself, not when she obviously doesn’t want anything more to do with me.
“Fuck,” I shout into the still air around me.
When I’m close to the barn, I notice the truck waiting in the drive. It doesn’t surprise me. I figured he’d be by to talk to me, to make sure that I’m not on the verge of losing my shit totally. There’s no doubt that I am indeed, on the verge, but I don’t have time to actually lose it right now.
The cattle auction that keeps me fed and pays my bills is coming up. I have to focus on that and forget the other shit. I can’t think about Stephanie, not when she obviously doesn’t want anything to do with me. If she changes her mind, I’m here, I’ll be here—as pathetic as that shit sounds.
“Ford,” Wyatt grunts after I’ve put Starlight away for the night and approach the front porch of my house.
“Wyatt,” I drawl.
There’s a moment of silence as I climb the wooden steps of my front porch. “Brought over a six-pack, figured you could use one,” he murmurs.
He’s got his forearms resting against the railing and the beer next to him. Walking up beside the beer, I take one and crack it open. Without a word, I