going to help us with the barn business,” Matt explained. “You’re a little pale, honey. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, Daddy,” she assured him. He damn sure didn’t need to be worrying about her. “I almost dozed off and almost fell out of this chair.”
“Well, dammit! I thought maybe you were pregnant,” he teased. “Your mama fainted a few times when she was first expecting you.”
“Sorry to disappoint you.” She had mixed feelings about the idea of being pregnant. Would she be sad or happy if it had happened that one time they hadn’t used protection? And what would that mean for their future? “I haven’t been sleeping well, and all this books stuff bores me. I dozed off there for a minute.”
What had started off as a simple ceremony so her father could walk her down the aisle had snowballed into a huge nightmare. Iris might be waiting to draw up her papers until everything settled, but not her father. He had to have things signed, sealed, and delivered before he went to his grave. She hated herself for thinking such a thing, but it would probably be best if he went on to heaven before the wedding. Then she could simply postpone it because of his passing, and it would never come about at all.
Her chest tightened again, this time with guilt for even letting such a horrible thought filter through her mind. Everything around her spun at warp speed for half a second before it settled down.
Forgive me, she sent up a silent prayer. Don’t take him from me before you have to.
“I reckon we could go on down to the barn and kind of get an idea about the lay of things,” Matt said. “We’ll get us a cold beer on the way through the kitchen. Pizza sounds good to me so I’ll eat good tonight. This brain booger messes with my taste buds. Not much of anything tastes like it should anymore.”
“Well, then”—Alana stood up slowly—“you decide what you want from now on, and I’ll either make it or send out for it.”
“Sounds like a good idea to me. Reckon you could whip up some western breakfast burritos in the morning? Spicy stuff is what sounds best.” He settled his cowboy hat on his head. “We’ll take the farm truck and you can drive.”
“Burritos it is.” She grabbed the keys from one of the hooks by the back door as they passed by. “Do you really think five hundred people will be at this wedding, Daddy?”
“Have no idea, but my motto is: Be prepared.” He crossed the backyard, opened the gate, and went right to the twenty-year-old work truck. “If they don’t eat up all the food, then we’ll send it home with whoever wants it, or the hired hands can take it out to the bunkhouse and freeze it for later use. It won’t go to waste, that’s for sure.”
Given a choice, Alana wouldn’t have wanted to talk about entering data into a computer for days, or discussing what to do with the leftovers from the wedding. There wasn’t a single conversation that she wanted to have with her father right then. All she wanted to do was sit with him and drink in every single breath he took, and see him smile that smile, which made his eyes twinkle. She wanted memories to hang on to when he’d taken that first step into eternity.
She parked the truck in front of the sale barn and got out. Matt was halfway to the barn when he passed Pax coming to meet her. They exchanged a few words that she couldn’t hear, and Matt kept going. Was he walking slower, or was it her imagination? She was still trying to figure that out when Pax picked her up and swung her around several times.
“I missed you this week,” he said before he set her down, tipped up her chin, and kissed her—long, hard, and with lots of passion.
“Me too,” she admitted. “It’s getting real, Pax. Are we really getting married in two weeks and two days?”
“Looks like it.” He took her by the hand and led her toward the barn. “How much longer can we keep Matt’s condition under wraps? He seems to have lost more weight since Sunday. His jeans are hanging on him.”
“He’s got to be the one to decide when to tell people,” she whispered as they entered the huge building. Right now there were three tractors parked inside, and the floor was