I’m working on it, okay? You think I don’t care about Katie? You think I want to spend all day Saturday on the sofa nursing a headache while my kid spends the whole day having fun with you? You think I like taking my sister’s money so I can keep a roof over our heads?” She swiped at her eyes. “I’m trying. I’m doing deep breathing, and I’m rewiring my brain.”
“Rewiring your brain?”
“Thinking positive thoughts. It creates new neural pathways and actually makes you intrinsically happier.”
“New neural pathways, huh?”
Maybe that was why Sarah couldn’t stop thinking about Lane. He’d made her intrinsically hornier. It was a good thing she had Kelsey and Katie to distract her, or she’d become a sex maniac by Monday.
She pulled her legs up onto the sofa and sat Indian style facing her sister. “So what did you do this week?”
“Worked.”
“No, I mean what were your days like? We talked about trying to simplify things, remember?”
“My life is simple. I take care of Katie. I work. It’s not rocket science.”
“It is when you try to do it perfectly.”
“I know.” Kelsey kicked idly, hitting the front of the recliner with her heel as she furrowed her brow in thought. “I gave Katie cold cereal on Tuesday and Wednesday. But I could tell she didn’t like it, and when I made pancakes Thursday morning she was so happy.”
“What time did you have to get up to do that?”
“Five.” Kelsey sighed. “And the night before was the PTO meeting. I had to go, because they were working on the fund-raiser for new safety equipment for the playground. There’s this new surfacing material made from recycled Styrofoam…”
“Can’t other people take care of that? Just until things get easier for you?”
“They need my support. And besides, things aren’t going to get easier.”
“But you’ll learn how to balance things. And Katie’s growing up.”
“Too fast.” Kelsey rose from the sofa and began picking up the plastic Weebles scattered around the floor. The little round toys were a hazard, but Sarah couldn’t help feeling that Kelsey was only picking them up so she wouldn’t have to look Sarah in the eye.
“I do all right.” She tossed the Weebles into a basket that was already brimming with stuffed toys, board books, and plastic cars. “In fact, I can pay you some of your money back.”
“You don’t have to do that. It wasn’t a loan.”
One of the Weebles rolled off the heap of toys and fell to the floor. Kelsey scrambled after it on her hands and knees as it rolled under the sofa. “Well, I can’t just take it.”
“You need it to pay bills.”
“I did. But I’m doing better now.” She held up the Weeble as if capturing the renegade toy was evidence of her newfound success.
“How? Did you get a raise?”
“No. I just—I have some extra, okay?”
“Well, spend it on Katie then.”
“Yeah, ’cause she needs more toys.” Kelsey lurched to her feet and sighed. “I’m all right, Sarah. I appreciate your help, but I’ll be okay.”
“Well, I don’t mind helping.” Sarah scratched the dog under the chin and the puppy grinned and panted. “I just don’t think you should have to work so hard. You don’t have to be perfect, you know.”
“You’re telling me this? Picture-perfect professional Sarah?”
“Oh, I’m definitely not perfect.” Sarah shifted the dog in her lap and gave his collar a totally unnecessary adjustment.
Kelsey cocked her head and studied her. “You’re not, are you? What happened? Why are you here in the middle of the night?”
“Nothing. I just—roommate problems.”
“That Gloria girl? I wondered about that. She sounded like a wild child.”
“You have no idea.” Sarah shuddered, remembering the tangle of naked arms and legs on her sofa. “Kelsey, I don’t think I can room with her anymore.”
“I don’t think you should have to.” Kelsey started kicking the recliner again. “I can make it, Sarah. And Mike will start paying his share soon.”
“What makes you think that?” Sarah asked.
Kelsey shrugged and looked away. “I just—I just think he will.”
“Listen, what if I stayed with you? Just for a while. That way I could get away from Gloria and still help out.”
Sarah had thought Kelsey would be thrilled to have help every day, but she just shifted in her chair and looked uncomfortable. “Isn’t that an awfully long drive?”
“Kind of, but I’d see more of Katie.”
“Yeah.”
Sarah wondered if Kelsey was already getting a headache. She was frowning as she shoved the basket of toys under the coffee table with one foot.
“What else is