hissed and handed Mark my heavy load. “I’ll meet you in the lobby. I forgot my phone.”
“You sure?” John caught the closing door.
“Yeah.” I turned on my heel and raced back toward the room. I quietly opened the door so as not to startle Daniel, who was already in a foul mood with his bunkmate leaving. I spotted my phone, and just as I scooped it up, I felt the three cups of coffee I’d had hit my bladder. The drive back along the winding roads of Montana’s mountains went through my head, and my legs clenched together at the thought.
“Sorry,” I whispered to Daniel as he opened his sleepy eyes. “I just need to use the restroom.”
“Of course, dear.”
I rushed into the restroom, seeking relief. I heard footsteps out in the room as I stood to wash my hands and hesitated, hearing his angry voice.
“I have never been this mad at you in my entire life.” Cole’s voice froze me to the spot.
“Son—”
“No,” he interrupted, “you will hear me out. You have always been a smart, methodical man. I’ve always held you on a pedestal. Never once did we go into a mission without knowing plan A, B, C, and God forbid, option D.”
I tried to be very quiet, knowing I shouldn’t be hearing this; it wasn’t for me. It was their private moment, but I wasn’t sure what to do.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered and leaned my back against the wall.
“What you did,” Cole nearly shouted, “that decision was not in the plan. If any of us did that, we would be kicked off the team without even a thought. Why?” He stumbled on his words. “Why in the hell would you make that call? Why the sudden change in plan?”
“I thought I had more knowledge of the southern side then Mike did. I had no idea that we’d be shot down.”
“You both were almost killed!”
“Yes, I know that, and when we were spiraling in the air like a spin top and the ground was racing toward us, all I could think about was I’m glad it was me and not the man who had just had a baby.”
“And what about John, Dad? He had no say in what you did. We all know the risks we take. The risks you have drilled into our heads over and over again!” Cole growled. “That’s why we have protocols in place. That’s why we practice our plans, review our maps, plan for the worst. But we can only do that when we are all on the same God-damn page!”
“I’m sixty-three years old!” Daniel shouted and made me jump. “I’m sixty-three, Cole. I know the rules, I knew the risk of what I did, but I did it because…” He paused. His voice quieted. “I know what I did was wrong, but it was a calculated risk, and I was with one of the best soldiers we have.”
“That hardly makes it right, Dad, and…” He stopped as the door opened. Sue’s voice could be heard as she spoke to someone in the hall. “Oh, hello, son. I only left because I thought your father was sleeping.”
“I was resting,” Daniel sounded grumpy, “but you two can just stop your hovering and let me sleep now.”
As things got quiet, I waited for a few more uncomfortable minutes then quickly washed my hands and stepped out into the semi-darkened room. I quietly fled out the door and down the hall to the lobby.
John looked happy to see me. “Mark went to get the car. We dug the keys out of your purse. Hope you don’t mind. I can’t wait to see the back end of this place.”
Mark helped us get loaded up and waved us off as we started the short drive to John’s parents’ place. John fell asleep once we hit the road, and I let my mind drift back over what I had heard in Daniel’s room. I felt off, and I wasn’t sure how to navigate it.
When I stopped at a traffic light, I glanced over and studied his face. The lines that normally gave away his daily stress were smoothed out, and he seemed at peace. He was such an attractive, strong man, one who apparently held a large piece of my heart. I still couldn’t believe I told him I loved him without even realizing it. It wasn’t exactly how I saw those three little words being uttered, but my subconscious apparently had other plans.
I reached back for my