then we both break down in laughter. My shoulders shake, and I lean over to press a kiss to Alexis’ brow.
“You’re trouble,” I say.
Shannon seems a little stunned by this but smiles. “Are you ready for the next question?”
I smile at her. “Go on then.”
By the time we make it out to the limo, both of us are exhausted. It has been a long night of networking, dancing, and lying. Plus one humorous interview that I was surprised to actually enjoy. I find when I am with Alexis, I enjoy a lot of things that I would have found tedious before.
“Well, that was interesting,” Alexis says as we pull away from the curb.
“Interesting?”
She smiles, sliding across the back seat to nestle against me. “It was fun, actually. I like us doing things like this together. It feels like we really are a team.”
I wrap my arm around her shoulders, soaking in her warmth. It could be a very sweet moment, only I don’t want her to think this is all being my partner will entail. I don’t want her to build false expectations of our future together.
“I hope you know that it will not always be this peaceful,” I tell her. “In fact, tonight was a brief respite from a war that has been bubbling under the concrete of this city for years.”
Alexis looks up at me. “I know.”
“Do you, though?” I frown, and run my thumb over her silken cheek. Not for the first time, I wonder if she is too soft for this life. “Every day brings more bloodshed to these streets, Alexis. The only way to put the Cartel down is with brutal force.”
“But once the Cartel is gone, it won’t have to be that way,” she says. “Promise me that once this war is over, you won’t start another one.”
I stare at her for a long while. The air between us feels thick, as though it’s pushing us apart.
“I can’t promise that,” I say finally. “This will always be a bloody business, Alexis. Violence is what drives this machine, and I couldn’t change that even if I wanted to.”
She sits up, biting her lip. I want to pull her back, stop her from creating a distance between us, but if she wants to be a part of this, she needs to come to me fully and willingly. I can’t make her accept the brutal man I am. She has to make that decision on her own.
Minutes pass. Neither of us says anything. Alexis stares out the window, her features drawn in concentration, and I try to do anything other than watch her. I check my phone. I look out the window on my side of the car. I pick pieces of lint from my suit.
Finally, just when the silence threatens to smother me, Alexis looks over and sighs. “I think part of what scares me most about being with you and being a part of this, is how seductive the darkness is. I’m worried that the more violence I consume, the more I will become numb to it. And then I’ll lose the very sensitivity that makes me a good person. I’ll lose my sense of right and wrong.”
“That won’t happen.” I shake my head and reach out to cup her cheek. “You will become more numb to it, but that doesn’t mean you’ll lose your sense of right and wrong. You will be grateful for that numbness because there are always going to be bad men in this city who need us to deal with them. Murderers. Rapists. Enemies. We operate outside of the law, and that means that we need to dole out our own justice. If that’s going to be a problem for you, I need to know now.”
Alexis covers my hand with her own. “Bad men,” she repeats. “Not innocents, Gabriel. Never innocents. Can you promise that?”
I squeeze her hand. “Killing innocents is never good for business,” I reply. “Though I think you will find we come across few who could be considered innocent in our business.”
“Fine,” she says.
For the first time, I get a clear image of her as my mob queen—beautiful and terrible. I glance at the closed partition. David won’t open it unless there’s an emergency. We’re about halfway back to the mansion, which means I have at least twenty minutes to do whatever the fuck I want to Alexis before we get there.
I lean in and kiss Alexis hard. She gasps in surprise but soon begins to kiss