origami shit on the end of a roll of toilet paper? Ain’t nobody got time to go around this big old house, checking to see if you fucked up my toilet paper origami, bitches.
“Yeah.” He tipped his chin and looked up at me. “I really had to go. Really bad.”
All right then. “You may want to see a doctor about that. But for now, please drip as little as possible as you leave this house. Not,” I called as he headed for the back door—the long way through the house—“that way.” I waved toward the front door, a few feet away. “Go dry off and change into your formal wear. The rest of you, please change when you finish.” I poked my head in and gave the powder room a sniff. “And maybe some potpourri in here?”
What on earth had Jed been eating?
I went on, working through my final checklist. It wasn’t until I finished, and checked my phone that I realized it was 9:55. My heart thudded. So late? I still had to change too. If I hurried, I could do it.
I don’t think I ever moved so fast. I even carried my heels as I ran barefoot through the snow-sprinkled path from one house to the other to make it back in time wearing my formal suit. Gasping, I took my place in line, quickly adjusting the fit of my jacket and a wayward fluff of hair. I checked my phone.
10:00. Perfect.
I watched it change to 10:01 with a snap.
I sucked in a breath and muttered through my gritted teeth, “Smile, everyone.”
“Smiling,” Coop called from the far end of the line. Too far for me to sear him with a glare without hitting anyone else. And the guests would be here any second. So I had to keep that searing glare to myself, which, as we all know, causes constipation.
By 10:05, I knew they’d been delayed. By 10:15 I’d reached Miranda Givens, Executive Secretary to Tommy Astro, who was Farley Weaver’s manager. According to Miranda, the party had been delayed and, oh dear, had no one called?
They would, apparently, be arriving at noon instead, and expected a full lunch to be prepared upon arrival. Everything else was on schedule, including the massages at 3:00 pm.
All right. Fine. I released the staff back to their duties—and in Coop’s case, back to hanging around and getting in the way. Noel was not happy about the change in the meal schedule and spoke about it rather vociferously. In French. I figured as long as he was speaking French it wasn’t something I needed to worry about, so I walked away.
Now that we had a little extra time, we could afford to make sure everything was absolutely perfect. I took the team with me on a walk-through of each day, pausing in every room to discuss planned activities and talk about potential issues or requests. I didn’t invite Coop along, because I really didn’t want him to come, but he tagged along anyway. Every once in a while I’d see him grin for no reason. It made me want to throttle him, but, with great effort, I was able to remain professional and remote.
We finished the walkthrough about fifteen minutes before the guests were to arrive at noon, so everyone could change from their work clothes back into their formals again. The formals were expensive, so we only wore them for welcomes, departures, and fancy events. But just as I was letting everyone go to change, my cell buzzed. On instinct, I stopped them from leaving with a lifted finger.
And yeah. It was Miranda on the phone. “Hey, Valerie?” she said.
“Victoria.”
“Yes, hon. Just wanted to let you know we’re delayed again. But we will definitely be there by 3:00 pm for massages, yes?”
“Absolutely. Thank you for letting me know. See you at three.”
The staff blew out a joint sigh. “Delayed again?” Olivia said with a pout.
“Don’t worry. You’ll get to meet Farley,” I told her. Though I knew, after this Visit, she might never want to see Farley’s face again. That happened sometimes when people met their idols. “Let’s reset to three, people.”
Everyone nodded and wandered off. Everyone but Noel. “Reset to three?” he said. “Just ’ow do I reset to three? I have ze foie gras. I have ze caviar. I have ze little chocolate straws that I ’ave made myself.”
“Please, Noel,” I said setting a firm hand on his shoulder. “Do your best. We’re counting on you.” We were. I