woman’s love. Maybe you’d want to be with me, maybe we could have something. I thought if I told you the truth, I’d ruin what we had. That you’d pull away and never be willing to see if we could make a relationship work. I know it was selfish. I’m sorry. I was scared of losing you before I even had you, and that wasn’t fair. I should have told you and dealt with the consequences.”
“You’re right. You should have told me.” Caroline appreciated his apology but her feelings still hurt. They couldn’t just sweep everything under the rug. “I don’t know if we can move forward if you don’t trust me enough to be honest with me.”
“I’ve learned my lesson. I have no good excuse for not telling you. I’ve told you almost everything else about me. It’s a mistake I won’t repeat.”
“How do I know that’s true?”
“Look at me. Do you think I’m lying?”
Caroline held his gaze for as long as she could, searching for any sign of deception and finding none. He wasn’t a perfect man. Their relationship would probably never be without its difficulties. They might have to work harder than they wanted to ensure their mutual stability. But all their disagreements didn’t seem important anymore. Her path forward was with him.
“No,” she whispered.
“Now it’s your turn to be honest with me,” he said. “If I’d told you this spring that I was thinking of running for governor, would you have pulled away or gotten closer?”
They both knew the answer to that question. “Probably the former,” she said quietly. “No, definitely the former.”
“You were so fragile back then. Maybe you don’t remember. I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing and scaring you away. I knew you weren’t there yet. You were mourning Nick. Hell, you still are. I wanted you to be able to deal with your grief. And I was desperate to hold on to the chance, no matter how small, that there might eventually be a place for me in your life.”
Jack wiped his eyes and brought a hand to her cheek. “I fell in love with you the night we met, Caroline. I loved you then and I love you now. And I’m scared stiff at the prospect of living the rest of my life without you. I don’t want to run for governor. I don’t need it. I need you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Please forgive me, sweetheart. I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back.”
Caroline smiled. “How many times did you practice that speech in your head?”
He smiled back at her. “Too many. I spent a lot of time in the hospital chapel while you were in surgery. And I said a lot of it to you before, remember?”
“Maybe it’s the drugs talking, but that sounded really good. I should have listened better the first time you said it.”
“I meant every word.”
“I know.” Caroline reached up to stroke the hand at her cheek. “Jack, I want you to think long and hard about whether you want to give up this opportunity. It might not come around again.”
“I don’t care. You’re much more important.”
He’d give up everything for her. He’d abandon his entire fortune, his house, his cars, his promising political career…just for her. He’d throw away a golden ticket because he thought it would make her happy. She couldn’t let him do that without some serious reflection.
“I appreciate that,” she said. “You know I do. But I want you to take a little time before you rule it out. There aren’t any other Republicans in the race yet. The nomination is yours if you want it. They’re waiting on you. The Democrats don’t have any major players in Pennsylvania who would be able to compete against you. You have some time to play with.”
“Are you really engaging in political analysis from a hospital bed? How many blogs have you started reading since our disagreement?”
“I’m asking you to stop and think about it objectively. A lot has happened today, you’re dealing with a myriad of emotions, and you need to take some time to deal with them. We’ll figure it out.”
“Together?” His voice sounded cautiously hopeful.
“Yes.”
He kissed her forehead. “You just made me very, very happy.”
“I had this moment earlier when I realized that all my fear wasn’t worth it anymore. You’ve been keeping me calm, reassuring me, loving me, when you could have easily detached yourself and been rid of me.”