know you hate talking about it. But I realized a while ago that it struck a nerve with me because it was grounded in truth.”
She glared at him. “It wasn’t the truth and you know it.”
“You know how many women I’ve been with. How many I’ve used. You know the bad decisions I’ve made, the terrible things I’ve done to make money, get ahead, close the deal, get laid. You know how I’ve manipulated people. And you know that deep down inside, I’m an entitled asshole who thinks he can get whatever he wants, whenever he wants. That’s precisely why I ran for Congress. I wanted the power. I wanted the attention. I wanted everything that came along with it, so I could take that next step.”
“That’s not the real you,” she said.
“The hell it isn’t. You as much told me the same thing over the course of the last week, and you were right.”
“I’ve said a lot of awful things to you recently. Things I shouldn’t have said. You’re not that man.”
“Who am I, then?”
“That’s not the way you are with me.”
He brushed her hair away from her forehead. “Why do you think that is?”
If she could answer that question, maybe their entire blowup could have been avoided. “I don’t know.”
“How do you know I’m not going to use you like I’ve used everybody else?”
“Because I trust you,” Caroline said. “And I love you. And I know you love me. I should have given you a chance to explain things better.”
“You still love me?” Jack asked in amazement. “After everything I’ve done? Even knowing who I really am?”
“Just because I was in severe pain earlier today doesn’t mean I wasn’t telling you the truth.”
“Do you know how terrified I was? How scared I was of losing you?”
He didn’t need to be so melodramatic. “It wasn’t that bad.”
“It was. All I could think was that something horrific had happened and I might never get the chance to make things up to you, to prove my love and tell you how sorry I was, that you’d – that your last memories of me would be of how I’d hurt you so much that you hated me for it.”
Completely, over the top melodramatic. “I don’t hate you, Jack.”
“Maybe not, but I still hurt you terribly. I know that. And I hate myself for it.”
“Please don’t feel that way. I said so many rotten things to you and you didn’t deserve any of them.”
“I shouldn’t have accused you of running away.”
Caroline blinked her eyes furiously. “You were right,” she whispered. “I am. Or I was.”
“You wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t lied to you.”
“I would have found some excuse to do it eventually.”
“Caroline, I mean it. I shouldn’t have said it.”
“Why do you think I said all those things to you?”
Jack looked down at her hand and squeezed it again. She should have known he wouldn’t want to answer that question.
“You know why.” She sniffled loudly. “I was pushing you away. Protecting myself. Last year was hard, Jack.” Her voice shook as she said his name, and she paused to compose herself. Sometimes the memories were still too much. “Really hard. I still don’t know how I got through it. I wouldn’t have had the strength to do it if I didn’t know that I had to do it for Mo and Feef. Or if everyone hadn’t been there to help me. The thought of going through something like that again…it makes me so frightened. I don’t think I could bear it.”
“You’d rather be alone and miserable?”
“I don’t know.”
“You deserve to be happy. Or with someone and miserable, instead of alone and miserable.”
“Would that someone be you?”
Jack grinned at her, a very welcome sight. “Baby, if you give me the chance I’ll make you the most miserable woman in the world.”
Caroline laughed. “You promised not to make any jokes.”
“I’m being serious. I’m a pain in the ass.”
“I know. You wouldn’t let me push you away.”
“I did my best to coerce you into doing it. I should never have lied to you.” He rubbed his eyes. “Do you know why I didn’t tell you about the governor’s race? I should have. I know that. Every logical bone in my body told me that. There were so many times when I opened my mouth intending to tell you, and then stopped because I was afraid of how you’d react. You’d finally started opening up to me, and I thought, maybe I can earn this