her more than it should. She didn’t want to be rude, and she knew her face sported an unwelcoming glower, no matter how much she wanted to snap out of the temper the kiss between Aline and Aedan had caused. She liked the blasted laird more than was safe.
Aedan sat at the dais, Black Ben seated to his right, both of them eating and laughing at something Aline had said, who was, predictably, seated to Aedan’s left.
He had to choose a wife, so why not Aline? It was never going to be Abigail, no matter how much she feared she wanted him. If only she’d been born in a different time, then perhaps, she could be his wife.
The ache in her chest told the truth, that seeing Aedan with another hurt like hell. At that moment, she regretted sleeping with him, allowing herself to get close enough to care.
Damn it.
“You’re sitting here with me tonight,” Gwen said, motioning to a table on the hall floor. Abby sat and thanked a young serving girl who ladled out some broth, another pouring her wine. As much as the food smelled delicious, the wine sweet and refreshing, it all turned to sawdust in her mouth. She didn’t like that her and Aedan’s time together was a secret and had to remain so. Abby wanted to stand and shout from the rooftops that he was hers and no one else’s.
A ridiculous, fanciful idea that she dismissed.
She clasped the table to stop herself from doing anything stupid. Aedan had been truthful from the beginning about what he wanted, what his clan needed. And so, too, had she been honest, stating that no matter what they did it wouldn’t change anything. Never had he included her in the long-term and vice versa.
She ate with haste, hoping to finish dinner quickly. Abby conversed as much as she could with a clansman from Clan Ross. He was an older gentleman, and had many a tale about his laird, Black Ben. Abby listened, finding the conversation a good distraction from what was taking place up on the dais, where laugher rang out with nearly every breath they seemed to take.
When the older gentleman rose and walked out the castle doors, Abby took the opportunity to leave. There was no way in hell she could put herself through this torture any longer.
She stood and made the mistake of looking toward Aedan. Dark hooded eyes watched her, a cup of ale loosely held in one hand while Aline and Black Ben spoke to each other around him. His gaze was intense, heavy with desire, and she frowned.
What is he doing to me?
She walked away, and once she got to the safety of her room, she made sure to lock the door, sighing with relief when the bolt slid home without incident.
“So we’re to go to war?” Black Ben sat back in the chair in Aedan’s anteroom, deep frown lines between his eyes.
“Aye. Clan MacLeod will declare war on Clan O’Cain as soon as the games end. I’ll not have those bastards get away with mistreating or demeaning Jinny as they have. They’ll pay for their abuse of her, and by my sword.”
“You know you have the backing of Clan Ross.” Ben paused a moment, gathering his thoughts. “How is Jinny? I haven’t seen her since I arrived.”
Aedan rubbed his face and poured himself another whisky. “She’s decided to stay at the convent for the foreseeable future. She’s ashamed and thinks the people here no longer see her as pure or a lady.” He scoffed. “Our clan would never see her as anything but the best of people.” He glared down at the amber liquid in his goblet. “I’m going to enjoy cutting down the man who mistreated her. He shall feel as much pain as she has endured.”
“Nay,” Ben said, sitting forward to lean on his knees. “Do not fight with anger or revenge in your belly. It’ll make ye weak. You must enter this fight with a clear mind and strong heart. When ye return home safely, then ye can give your emotions free rein.”
Ben was right. To enter a war, a ghastly, hard battle like the one they were about to embark on, without a clear mind would ensure he met his maker a lot sooner than he hoped. It wasn’t a war he wished to fight, but he couldn’t allow the slur against Jinny to go unpunished.
“And what about a wife? If ye should be killed at this