little while. She ran the short distance to the river and filled it, coming back to the fighting men and dumping the full basket of water on their idiot heads.
They gasped, pulled apart, and glared at her.
“What did ye do that for?” Aedan’s chest rose and fell with labored breaths, and she tore her attention away from the magnetic sight.
“Why do you think? You’re acting like medieval morons.”
“I think the Laird of Druiminn is jealous. Ye can’t have all the women, boy.”
“You’ll not have her,” Aedan roared, startling her.
Ben stood without saying a word, and left.
She glared at Aedan, wanting to throttle him herself. “Get up.”
He did, clasping his stomach as he did so. “What,” he asked at length when she didn’t say anything.
“What are you doing? You can’t fight your closest friend for something he’s innocent of.”
“It didn’t look innocent to me, lass. Do ye want him now?”
Abby strode up to him and slapped his face. Hard. His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t react. “If I wanted Ben, I’d have Ben. You have Aline, after all. But I want you, Aedan, and I can’t have you. Is that what you want to hear? Because it’s true. I think of you all the time. The thought of you while I was away, the hope that I would see you again, was all that kept me sane.”
She paced, trying to calm down. “You know that I had a boyfriend, a lover in my time? I thought I’d marry him, have children with him, but I buried him, instead. He was a cop, a peacekeeper, and the job killed him. Just like one day, this job of yours, your position as laird, could kill you.”
His eyes clouded with jealousy but also a flicker of compassion. “What are ye trying to say?”
“I didn’t have to come back, you know. I could’ve kept my heart protected from the pain of losing someone I love by death, illness, whatever, but I didn’t. Life is nothing without love.” Tears welled in her eyes and she sniffed. “And, what do I come back to? You. Engaged to Aline, of all women.”
“I dinna think ye could come back. What did ye want me to do? Stay a saint for the rest of my life? I have to have heirs.”
“Why didn’t you ask Gwen to do”—she waved her arms about—“something!” She growled, wanting to hit something. “I’m so pissed off with you right now; nothing you say can change the fact that you couldn’t even wait a year to move on.”
“I was told within weeks of ye leaving that ye couldn’t be returned. What was I supposed to do?” He ran a hand through his long locks, cursing in a language she couldn’t understand. “I died when I knew I’d never see ye again. What did it matter who I married after that?”
“That may be so, but twelve months! Probably sooner, since you had to court her.”
He shook his head, stepping back. “I’m sorry, lass. I canna say any more than that.”
“No, you can’t.” Abby swiped a tear from her cheek and looked out over the serene water, hoping it would help her calm down a little. “It’s over, Aedan. Do what you want, marry whoever the hell you want. I can’t allow myself to care anymore.”
He clasped her arm, pulling her around to face him. “Ye can’t allow yourself to care, or you don’t care?”
His eyes burned into her soul, and she knew he’d gathered the answer before she spoke. “I can’t.”
“Lass…”
She placed her hand on his lips, stopping him from kissing her. “Don’t you dare, Aedan.”
“Why not?” Anguish tinged his voice.
“Why do you think? I don’t trust myself around you.” Abby pushed him away, gathered up what remained of her picnic, and held the basket before her in a pathetic attempt at a barrier. “I won’t become the other woman, not even for you. Aline and I deserve better than that.”
“What do ye plan on doing?”
“I’m leaving with Gwen, and maybe I’ll marry eventually, or go back to my own time when I can.” She shrugged. “Who knows?”
His eyes burned with hatred. At her or her words, she couldn’t be sure.
Abby started back toward the castle, leaving Aedan under the tree. It was better this way. She couldn’t be around him without wanting to give in to desires that she no longer had the right to feel.
He was as lost to her now as he had been when centuries separated them.