Confessions of a Call Center Gal - By Lisa Lim Page 0,91
will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.
Yeah Mister President! Say it like it is! Sitting up straighter, I square my shoulders and resolve that it’s time for change!
Onward and upward!
And I know just the place I want to go.
“Hey, Truong. Did you see the two postings for Second Level Techs? I think I’m going to apply.”
Lately, I’ve been eyeing the wireless headsets that these smug technicians parade around in.
They are the envy of all the minions who covet their wireless headsets. They have the freedom to roam and wander wherever their hearts desire, whilst the rest of us are chained to our desks by our non-wireless headsets.
At the mere sight of a wireless headset, my pulse quickens and my palms get sweaty. I feel faint, breathless. I feel all hot, heavy and bothered. Ahh…my lust for one has never ceased.
I dream of one and I drool for one. I must have one. I MUST!
Suddenly, a techie saunters by with a wireless headset, and I stand stock still with a look of pure rapture on my face.
YOU WILL BE MINE WIRELESS HEADSET. Angry fist shake.YOU WILL!
I’m still waiting for a response from Bruce Lee, but he’s been oddly quiet. “Truong,” I croak, my voice cracking and splitting.
Nothing. No reply.
“TRUONG!” I shout with a strained expression.
Finally, he shoots me one of his infamous I’m-far-too-busy-for-this-conversation looks.
“Please don’t make me yell, okay? I’ve been yelling at all these deaf callers all day.” I pop another Ricola in my mouth. “So did you see the posting or not?”
His response is tepid to say the least. “Uh-huh, why?”
“I need a wireless headset,” I say with dire passion. “And the best part about being a second level techie is that you don’t have to sell!”
But Truong doesn’t appear to be sold on the idea. In fact, I’m rather taken aback when he turns weepy and whiny. “But if you get the techie position, you won’t sit by me no more. Don’t leave me, bitch.” He pouts profusely.
“It won’t matter,” I assure him. “Hullo? With a wireless, I can stop by and visit you anytime!”
“Sure you will,” he says dubiously.
“Hey!” I have a brain wave. “Why don’t you apply too?”
“Me? No,” he says dismissively. “They make you take a test and I probably won’t pass it.”
“C’mon, Truong,” I beg, falling to my knees. “This job is just so stressful. We have all these unrealistic sales quotas and, by the way, this job is making me deaf. Maybe even partially blind.” I point to my eye patch. “And don’t you want a change? A challenge?”
His hand flies up in protest. “No! No! I like my job now. I don’t have to think and I like it that way. Thinking hurts my brain, plus I don’t mind the selling part. I’m actually quite good at it.”
Humph. He is resisting. I decide to switch tactics by dangling a big fat carrot in front of him. “With a wireless headset, you’ll be able to use the restroom and take calls. Imagine that! You won’t have to hold it in anymore.”
Truong considers this briefly. After hemming and hawing, he says, “No, there’s no way I can pass the test. I suck at math.”
“Fine. But I’m still going to apply,” I say steadfastly.
Single minded in my quest for a wireless headset, I fervidly fill out the online application.
“You’re making a big mistake,” he tuts and shoots me a look of forewarning. “Those techies are arrogant bastards. They act as if they’re in their own exclusive country club. Really. They think they’re better than everyone else.”
“Well they are better than everyone else,” I quip. “They have wireless headsets and we don’t!”
Over my break, I ambush Kars and begin recruiting her.
“C’mon Kars!” I seize her fiercely by the shoulders. “Think of all the fun and freedom we can have with a wireless headset.”
“But I don’t want to be on the phones anymore,” she howls in protest. “They posted seven team lead positions and I’m going for it.”
“Tsch-tsch.” I shake my head. “It’s so hard to get a team lead position. There’s too much politics involved, and you have to suck up to all the right people.”
“And I have, trust me. I’ve been puffing like a chimney to get in their good gra—” she breaks off when she meets my eye.