Concealed Hearts (Hometown Jasper #4) - Nicky James Page 0,79
my wife’s gonna get jealous, pretty boy. Drink your sugar sludge.”
Matthew grinned and blew John an air kiss before swinging back into the storage room.
I wasn’t sure when my jaw hit the ground. It could have been the cute comment, or the eyelash batting, or the air kisses. All I knew was, I’d learned something about Matthew I didn’t know before.
John, acting as though nothing odd had transpired, headed down the hall to his office. I ran to catch up, snagging his arm and lowering my voice. “Wait. Is Matt—?”
“A flirt? Yes. Gay? Yes, again. You didn’t know that?”
“I… No.” I glanced toward the storage room. “You did?”
John shrugged. “He doesn’t hide it, and he’s getting more comfortable here, so he likes to mess around.” He examined me a second. I wasn’t sure what kind of face I was making, but John frowned. “It’s cool, right? You aren’t gonna give him a hard time, are you?”
“What? No! Why would I… I just didn’t know. I have no issues with him being gay.”
My issues stemmed from me being gay, but I couldn’t come out and say that.
“Good. He’s a great kid, Windsor. Funny as hell. Likes to tease and keep us all on our toes.”
“He’s a motormouth.”
“That he is. He’s also done a lot to pull Lucas out of his shell. You should thank him.”
My phone chimed, and I pulled it out without thinking, opening the text from Tomi and stepping away from John so he couldn’t read over my shoulder.
Tomi: This isn’t working.
My face fell. The strain of people discovering our relationship pressed harder and harder on our shoulders every day. We were both cracking at the seams. Sometimes, it felt like we were at a crossroads. We either needed to find a natural end to whatever this was we shared or come out. There was no happy middle ground.
“Everything okay?” John’s concern jolted me out of my stunned state.
“Um…” I waved my phone between us. “I gotta take this. Excuse me.”
I vanished into my office, closing the door behind me, and hit call.
“Who are we kidding?” Tomi said the minute he picked up the phone. “We need to either step outside the godforsaken closet and get it over with or call it a day.”
Exactly what I’d just thought. Easier said than done.
Or was it?
“Where are you?”
“At my hotel. I don’t know how to tear my walls down, Windsor. Even with my brother. Do you know what he said to me today?”
I rested my elbows on my desk, pinching the bridge of my nose. “What?”
“He said I need to stop lusting after a straight guy. He figures you’re why I’m here, and he wanted to warn me it wouldn’t end well. Then he made sure to tell me he’d heard you were dating someone.”
“It’s gotten around.”
“Everyone is going to have eyes on you. It’s only a matter of time before someone figures us out.”
“I know.”
“Windsor, I couldn’t even tell Shay the truth. It was there, on the tip of my tongue. I should have told him, but I didn’t. I clammed up and couldn’t do it. What is wrong with me?”
Silence filled the line. I had no answers because I struggled with the same issue. How many times had we both considered the consequences of coming out? How many times did fear keep us in hiding? August was fast disappearing. Soon it would be September, and where would we be?
“What do you want to do, Tomi?” I feared his answer.
“I don’t know.”
Fighting the suffocating terror, I spoke words I thought I’d never be able to say. “Do you want to come out? Together?”
More silence.
I continued. “September is looming in the distance. What happens then? I know we weren’t going to worry about it until it was here, but maybe it’s time to think about it. If we aren’t going to consider a long-distance relationship, then is there a point?” I leaned back on my chair. “I like you, Tomi. A lot. I think we could have something good. Maybe better than good. But right now, it’s toxic and doomed to fail.”
“Windsor—”
“Let me finish. It’s toxic, but it doesn’t have to be. I don’t want a long-distance relationship, but if that’s what we need to do for now, then I’ll take it. But I’ll be one hundred percent honest with you. If we’re going to make this work, I don’t think we can keep going like this. We’re punishing ourselves.”