of Ryan and caught him in an embrace as well. It was the first and only time she ever managed to surprise him, and she felt him stiffen before awkwardly returning the embrace. “Be safe, and watch out for David,” she said, and she caught a hint of a smile at the corners of his lips. He gave her a small nod, and now that she knew him better, she recognized the friendship in the gesture.
She turned and walked away from them before her emotions could get the better of her, and searched out Jeremy. He was standing in the middle of a group of men, talking with bowed heads, but when he saw her he excused himself and made his way toward her.
“Taya, I’m glad you’re awake.”
“You sound like David. I can’t believe you thought you could sneak away without me catching you,” she said with a smile.
“I would have woken you before we left,” he promised, and she realized that she believed him.
Here was a man who would sooner curse the gods than steer her wrong, and the thought was both warm and painful.
“We’ll send word as soon as the war is over and it’s safe for you to go back home. I swear on my honor, it will be the very first letter I pen, the very first messenger I send.”
“I’ll hold you to that. These people are kind, but I will go out of my mind alone here.”
He nodded, but seemed at a loss for what to say. She, too, was out of words. Would this be the last time they saw each other? Would there be a letter, or only rumors caught and carried on the wind, bloody tales of failed insurrection? Was there a way to make him understand everything she was leaving unsaid?
“You know by now that I always get my way,” she said. “I have never lost a fight nor made a wager I haven’t won. So listen. I will bet my life that you will win this war, and you will come through it safely. And if you think for one moment that you can prove me wrong, you had best think again, because I have never been wrong. Not ever.” The words were soft, spoken only to him, and in his eyes she saw that he understood.
“I would not wish to disappoint you,” he said, catching one of her hands in hers and holding it for a moment.
She nodded, clenching her teeth, blinking quickly and pretending there was no reason for it. She wanted to throw her arms around him, to hold him close as she had done with David, but this felt different. Even if he won, he would be gone from her life. He was a door she could never walk through, a possibility she could never realize.
“Then I’ll read that letter, someday soon.”
She slipped her hand away and left, knowing there was nothing else to say. It was in Ashua’s hands now, and in theirs. She could only wait, and watch, and pray. And Oblivion take her, how she hated it! She was not made for being the one left behind.
She found Darren standing beside Princess Nicola, their fingers discreetly touching as they bent their heads close to talk. She cleared her throat, interrupting the tête-à-tête.
“So sorry to interrupt, but I hoped I could have a few words with Darren,” she said. “In private.”
“Of course,” Princess Nicola said, smooth as silk and twice as gracious. She kissed Darren lightly on the cheek, so fine and proper, and seemed to glide away rather than walking.
Taya resisted the urge to scowl, just barely. Darren seemed annoyed at being pulled away, and he walked only a few steps with her before speaking.
“What is it?”
She stomped around the building, to the relative privacy of the stables, and as soon as they were out of sight of the crowds she smacked him as hard as she could across the face. “You swine of an ass! You haven’t said one word to me in nearly two days, I’m only here because of you, I’ve lost everything because of you, and now when I’m about to lose you too, when you’re about to go off and fight and maybe die, all you can think is that our farewells are taking time away from your precious new love? Well Oblivion take you, Darren Mannima!” she hollered, and attempted to storm away.
He caught her by the arm, weak from his injury but still stronger than she