stuff unless you’re serious – unless you’re going to be turned – otherwise the addiction will consume you. I know, I’ve seen it happen.”
******************************************He wasn’t ready to talk about it. Shit, it had been almost eighty years since it happened. When exactly did he think that he’d actually be ready to talk about it? He’d never be ready, but she deserved to know that his freak out had nothing to do with her. He lay down on his back, covered his bottom half with the sheet and his eyes with his arm – he knew he couldn’t make eye contact with her when he told her. He wouldn’t be able to handle the pity or the sadness in them. And he knew it would be there, it should be there, but he couldn’t handle seeing it there. He smiled slightly as she began caressing her fingers over his stomach. “The last time I made love to a woman was, well, it was a long time ago.”
“How long, Colton?” she whispered.
“You don’t want to know,” he said, smiling.
She sounded way to serious as she said, “Yes, I do.”
He dropped his arm and looked at her, “No secrets?” he said and she nodded and then swallowed hard.
His arm moved back up and covered his eyes again. “Okay, no secrets. I haven’t made love to a woman in seventy eight years.”
Her fingers hesitated slightly on his stomach then resumed caressing. “You haven’t had sex in almost eighty years and you still performed the way you did for me? That’s freaking impressive, Colton.”
“I didn’t say I hadn’t had sex. I said that I hadn’t made love,” he whispered.
“Oh,” she said then she took a deep breath, “Okay, tell me what happened.”
“Her name was, L, L, Lisette. She was beautiful, spontaneous, fun, full of life – she was the sunshine in my dark existence. She knew what I was and yet she still loved me with all of her heart. We were together for almost two years, we were engaged to be married, and she was ready to go through the change so that we could be together forever. I was so happy. I was so in love. And then the night before we were going to turn her, she asked to taste my blood when we were making love. At first I told her no, but she argued and begged. “Let me see just one time what it feels like when I’m human. Tomorrow I’ll be vampire and then it won’t matter,” she told me. I gave in, how could I not? I loved her. I gave her a small taste from my wrist – just a few drops - and I thought she was fine – she seemed fine. But the next morning, when I returned from feeding, she was gone. The addiction had such a strong hold on her already that she had run off and gone underground.”
“Gone underground?”
“That what we call the darkest part of vampire society. She roamed the seediest alleys and the dirtiest clubs searching for vampires who would feed her addiction. And she would do anything to get it. I found her several times but she always fought me and ran away. She went back to the whoring, the blow jobs, the sex – all for vampire blood. She was killed a few months later by a rogue vampire who got too rough during sex – he broke her neck…..so I broke his, right before I tore his head off.”
He felt her shiver slightly at his last statement – she should, it was only natural for a human. But then she rolled closer to him to hug him and kiss his chest, “I’m so sorry, Colton. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
Colton hugged her and kissed the top of her head, “You’re the only one who knows that story, Tess. I want you to know that.”
“Hansen doesn’t know?”
“No. Hansen saw it happen but I was never able to tell him the whole story, he just knew that she ran off and left me, he never really knew why – and I haven’t been able to talk about it.”
She laid her head back on his chest and just lazily caressed it for a few minutes. He thought he might doze off until she whispered, “Colton?”
“Yes, Tess?”
“No secrets, right?”
He tensed slightly, “Right. Why?”
She lifted her head up and rested her chin on her closed fist on his chest, “Because I kind of got most of my memory