was what I was going to get.”
“You told me that’s what you needed.”
“Yes. The thing is, the more I got to know you, the less important that seemed. I struggled with trying to work out how we could live on my income, which doesn’t cover all my expenses, and I rely on the kindness of family members to supplement it. Do you know how demeaning and insecure that can make a person feel?”
“No. I suppose not.”
“I belong to a loving family, and I love my occupation, but if I wanted to marry you, I had to work out how I could achieve that in realistic terms. In most moments I just thought to heck with it. If we married, we would find a way around it, but life isn’t that easy when there is no money. I did not want you to suffer as a consequence. For I would hate to make you unhappy because I could not provide a good lifestyle for you. Then Darcy arrived.”
“Yes. He did.”
“He is a good man,” Fitzwilliam defended his cousin. “He’s been like my own brother and has been father and brother to his own sister who lost her parents when she was very young. I respect him and his opinions. Unfortunately, he repeated aloud what I had been struggling with internally. It wouldn’t have been too bad, but he uttered the words before I had managed to work out a solution in my own mind. I was faced with the nightmare situation in which we found ourselves. I admit I just panicked and could not think straight.”
“I felt attacked.”
“I am so sorry that I did not respond as I should have done. I truly am.”
“I believe you. I think.”
“I suppose that is a start. I hate to say this, but if we don’t move soon, I think the horses will bolt,” Fitzwilliam said reluctantly.
“We have been gone some time. We should be heading home.”
“Cousin ― Prudence, please consider allowing us to have that second chance. I do not think either of us will be happy if we don’t.”
Prudence looked away for a few moments, and Fitzwilliam took the reins and started the journey back to the house. He had done all he could. If she still did not want him, there was nothing else he could do to persuade her.
Before they left the parkland, Prudence turned to face Fitzwilliam. “Come back after all this has been sorted out between Mr. Huxley and Anne. Wait until the dust has settled on that and then come for a visit. Let us get to know each other again. From the start, but with honesty on both sides. I, too, was at fault. I should have been truthful about my situation.”
“It wouldn’t have made any difference. There would still have been prejudice about where your fortune came from. Certainly in my aunt’s case.”
“Luckily for us, she is an aunt not a parent, and I now understand how the family dynamics have worked until now.”
Fitzwilliam smiled. “So I can return?”
“Yes.”
“It might be a little while. Aunt Catherine isn’t going to be persuaded easily.”
“I can wait.”
“I am not sure if I can.”
“Do not push your advantage.”
Laughing Fitzwilliam kissed her gloved hand. “You cannot blame a man for trying.”
Chapter 19
If Colonel Fitzwilliam thought he would spend a day or two at Rosings and then head north once more, he was to be disappointed. Aunt Catherine was furious that Anne was not with him when he returned, and after her hysterics had calmed on hearing how ill Anne was, she would not countenance a marriage between her daughter and Mr. Huxley.
“Never! As long as I have breath in my body, I shall never approve of such a match.”
“She is of age.”
“I shall disinherit her! Unless she returns to me. Unwed.”
“Then she shall be ruined in the eyes of society,” Fitzwilliam said.
“Nonsense! She is a De Bourgh! She will be nothing of the sort. No one would dare to believe rumours of one of my family.”
“Are you sure about that, Aunt?” Fitzwilliam asked. “It is a heck of a risk to take with Anne’s reputation. As the situation stands at the moment, we can fudge over the reality of what actually happened. Her illness can be made public, saying that she became ill when visiting her cousin Prudence, but then happened to fall in love with Mr. Huxley. It is a surprising match, but one that you approve of because your wish is for your daughter to be happy.”
“Do not be