he does, but what I didn’t tell him is that there are more men there than he could possibly imagine. Even if he picks up Benedict and manages to use him as bait, he’ll never take down the mass production they’ve got going on there, there are simply too many men.
Guilt has started to eat away at me, especially considering I’m growing closer to Waverly and I really like Mykel, Samson and hell, most of them really. The idea of doing something bad to them is starting to make me doubt myself. Maybe there is another way? I mean, surely there is a better revenge plan than to lead them right into a fucking ambush?
I don’t know.
I’m torn between two parts of myself, the part that hates what happened to me because of this club, because of Cohen, but the other part of me knows that I’m going to be risking the lives of many innocent people just to make myself feel better.
I shake the thoughts from my head, the doubt, the guilt.
Nobody had any of those feelings when I was taken away.
Nobody, not even my best friend, came after me and tried to find me.
No, I don’t have any reason to feel guilty about this.
Right?
“Don’t get a choice,” Alarick says, throwing a heap of luggage into the back of Cohen’s truck. “We’re full, and I don’t care if you trust her or not. We’ve got to do this, and that’s pretty much all there is to it.”
“She could be leadin’ us right into the devil’s fuckin’ pen, how do you trust anythin’ that comes out of her mouth?” Cohen growls, his demeanor tense and overpowering.
Alarick stops mid throw of someone’s bag and glances at Cohen. “If she does, I’ll make sure the last five years of her life are nothin’ on what I’ll have in store for her.”
His eyes swing to me when he says that, and something inside my stomach turns. Fear, bitter rage, a whole swirl of emotions I don’t fully understand nor wish to.
“Be too fuckin’ late by then,” Cohen growls, fists clenched now. “I don’t fuckin’ trust her and I think you need to be more fuckin’ careful. She shouldn’t be comin’ with us.”
“You don’t get a choice in that,” I say, before Alarick can answer.
Cohen ignores me.
“Got no other options right now, brother. Understand your hesitation, but we have to get Samson’s girl back, not to mention, we got to fuckin’ finish this. You might not like it, but we are runnin’ out of ideas.”
“Well, at the very least you need someone watchin’ her.”
Alarick grins. “You’re right, I do. You’re on the job.”
Cohen glares at him. I do, too.
“What, no?” I say, shaking my head. “He can’t stand me.”
“Well, then it’ll give you both time to get over your fuckin’ issues. Cohen, you keep an eye on her. If she’s up to no good, I expect you’ll figure it out.”
Cohen shakes his head with utter disgust and turns, getting into the truck and starting it. As the truck idles away next to me, I see Bohdi come out with Merleigh. I haven’t had much to do with the two of them, but I do know that Merleigh was someone the club rescued along with Cova and that Bohdi is only new and still a prospect. The two of them spend a good deal of time together and mostly keep to themselves.
Merleigh is lovely, from the small conversation I’ve had with her. Bohdi I haven’t spoken to, but my god he’s attractive. All surfer biker dude. He has an edge about him, and a darkness so deep, you can see it when he looks at you. His eyes are that of a broken man, and his silence speaks volumes.
I wonder what happened to him.
“Can we squeeze in your truck?” Merleigh asks Cohen as he winds down the window. “Mykel and Waverly are going to take Samson now, so we figure it’ll be best if we come with you.”
“Yeah, get in.”
Bohdi climbs into the front and Merleigh and I get into the back. She flashes a smile at me, and I return it before we hit the road, ready for our first five-hour journey. We’re stopping at a motel tonight, and we’ll do so for the next few days until we reach Benedict. Then, we have the wonderful job of somehow getting hold of him, before continuing on to where we’ll find Dax, Blanche and of course, Uncle Peter.
He has so many answers I need.
Monster.
He always