tonight, maybe we can take a weekend trip to North Carolina.
The bell in the church tolls midnight as the last few stragglers rush inside. I start walking that way, leaving deep footprints in the snow. I enter into the warm vestibule and scan the interior of the church, easily locating Jaime and her family four rows back from the front.
I choose a seat in the very last row, then take off my coat. I’ve never been to a Catholic mass before, much less a church service at midnight, and I want to see what’s so magical about this tradition for the Dolan family.
And then after… well, Jaime and I are going to talk.
♦
I stand off to the side of the church steps, having walked out just before the priest did. It’s still snowing, and I’m freezing my ass off. The priest stands under the overhang, giving peaceful blessings to each person who walks past him. After what seems like forever, I see Jaime’s parents. They shake hands with the priest, followed by Brian, then Jaime and Laney.
When they start down the steps, again arm in arm, I make my move and walk their way. Jaime sees me coming from her peripheral vision. I can tell when her gaze lands on me that she’s not surprised to see me there.
“Can we talk?” I ask.
“It’s not a good time,” she replies, glancing at her parents, who are still walking toward the parking lot, oblivious I’ve stopped their daughter.
“It’s Christmas, Jaime,” I say softly, hoping to appeal to whatever joyful spirit she may have been filled with during, what I admit, was a beautiful experience watching the midnight Mass. “I’m just asking for a bit of time to talk.”
She nibbles on her lip in dismay, the fat flakes of snow covering her knit cap and standing bright against the fiery locks of hair that hang over her shoulders. She looks at Laney, then toward the parking lot, then back to Laney. “I need ten minutes.”
“Of course,” Laney says, then gives me a short glance. I’m surprised when she says, “Merry Christmas, Cage.”
I nod at her. “Merry Christmas.”
As Laney heads to her parents’ car, I take Jaime’s hand and lead her away from the church. It’s a beautiful setting, the church all lit up and casting a glow over us. It might be the type of moment a man uses to tell a woman he loves her or even proposes to her, but those moments are already lost to us.
She tugs her hand away from mine, crosses her arms over her chest, and waits for me to say something. “Jaime… I am so sorry I lied to you about my job. I am begging you to forgive me, so we can move on—”
“Hold up just a minute,” she says, her hand coming up and her gloved palm facing me. “It’s more than just lying about your job, Cage.”
“Yeah… I get that.” I hope my admission softens her a bit.
“Do you know what rook means?” she asks.
Frowning, I give it a shot. “It’s a chess piece, right?”
“It can be, but rook means to defraud or deceive someone. You rooked me, right after my brother did, and that came right after the last guy I was dating did, too. You might get that it’s about just a little bit more to me than just lying about a job.”
“I understand—”
“No, I don’t think you do,” she snaps, taking a step toward me but lowering her voice. It doesn’t diminish the power of her words, though. “It was far worse when you did it, Cage, because you actually swindled my heart.”
I wince because that’s a fucking slap of truth in the face. But still, I have to believe that what we have is enough to overcome this. “Jaime… I’m really sorry. I made poor choices. If you can forgive me, I know we can make this work between us. I know you’re angry—”
“I’m not angry anymore,” she says softly. For a moment, I have hope. But her eyes get shiny with tears, and her voice is morose. “I’m sad because you didn’t trust me enough with the truth. It was such a harmless lie, too, but the longer you let it go on, the bigger it got. And yet, you should have trusted in me and my feelings. You should have given me the benefit of the doubt that I would forgive the lie. But, you let it go on for weeks, and you led me right to