The greying clouds become darker and soon cover the late afternoon sky, making it appear later in the evening that what it really is. My eyes close and I take a few deep breaths, trying to release all the tortuous thoughts from my mind. I’ve been holding onto so much anger and I’m getting closer and closer to the edge. I’m eventually going to break and I don’t even want to be around me when that happens.
I take a slow breath in, hold it for two, and then let it out.
Repeat.
And again.
With each breath I blow out, I let go of something that’s been weighing me down. The frustration of Nic’s protectiveness, the pain at having to let down Charlie, and the way I miss both my crew and the ridiculous boys at BSA. But most of all, I want to let go of the hurt of Colton’s rejection, it’s just going to take a little more than a few calming breaths to completely lose that pain. His public rejection cut deep but that’s on me. I saw it coming and still dove headfirst, practically begging for it.
I go over my new little ritual at least thirty times before I hear thunder rumbling in the distance and for some reason, it’s soothing as hell. Is this what it’s like to meditate? I don’t know, I can’t say I’ve ever tried it before, but if this is it, I completely understand it. I’m chilled the fuck out. Colton can come at me with his bullshit right now and I’d just smile and wave until he walked his fine ass away.
Nothing can destroy this moment.
For the first time since being here, I feel refreshed. I might even read another book tonight or hell, maybe I’ll just stay here until the clouds pass and watch the sky move along until the stars come out to play.
The weight on my shoulders seems to have disappeared but I know the second I get back to real life, it’ll all start pressing down on me again, so damn it, I’m going to enjoy this brief moment of freedom while I can.
The first raindrops begin to fall and I cringe as they splash on my face. I don't want this to end. I could stay here forever and live a happy life.
What’s the harm? It’s only a little water.
The soft rainfall splashes down around me until a loud crack of lightning flashes through the sky. Thunder rumbles through Bellevue Springs and within seconds, the rain comes pouring.
My clothes are soaked through within moments and the chill quickly begins seeping through to my bones but I don’t dare move, I just continue lying in the grass, soaking in the moment.
There's something refreshing about being out in the rain. I don’t even think that I can explain it. It's just me being one with nature and maybe that makes me sound kinda crazy, but I don't care—at least not right now. I’ll probably be a little pissed with my decision come tomorrow when my nose is all stuffy and I’m running a fever. For now, I’m chilling and I fucking love it.
Ten minutes pass before I hear him.
Get fucked. Why is he always around to ruin something good?
Colton storms up to me and doesn’t even give me a chance to pull away before he grabs hold of me and somehow pulls me right up from the grass and over his shoulder. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He demands as he madly dashes back to the house. “Are you insane or just stupid? Can’t you tell it’s fucking pouring down with rain?”
I start kicking my legs and slamming my hands down over his back as water rushes off me. “Put me down, asshole. I was enjoying myself.”
“Enjoy yourself inside like the rest of the human population does when it’s raining.”
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck you right back, Jade.” Anger rests heavy in his tone which only manages to piss me off more. He doesn’t have the right to be angry with me. I didn’t do anything wrong. He’s the one who drew me in, made Mom gush about how incredible he is, and then pushed me away the second someone was going to find out about us. Us? Were we even an ‘us’? He certainly had no issues telling my mom we were together without actually consulting me about that first.
I don’t know. I honestly shouldn’t even care. It was like one day of perfectness. One day