same degree, so she’d never felt fully in love or like she’d been in a serious relationship.
“Why did you break up with Lena if you loved her?” She removed the towel from her hair and combed her fingers through the wet strands, trying to hide her trembling hands.
He leaned back against the bathroom counter, towel hanging loosely around his lean hips.
“I knew my life would take me away from Perth, from my home and family. I was okay with that. Lena wasn’t. She wanted to practice law in Perth. We did our best to make a long-distance relationship work, but after a year we realized our hearts were in different places and while there would always be some form of affection between us, it was no longer strong enough to survive our diverging paths in life.” When he looked her way, she saw the ghost of an old pain in his eyes and in the curve of his melancholy smile.
“Do you still love her?” It was a question she shouldn’t ask; she knew the answer was only going to hurt her.
“First loves, strong ones, leave a mark, like a river running through a valley of stones over hundreds of thousands of years. It wears a path; it leaves grooves and redefines the rocks around it. While that love may be long gone, its mark is still there, defining any new love that might come through into one’s heart. My love for Lena is like that. It left me changed. There will always be echoes of that love inside me. But no, I’m no longer in love with her.” Matthew met her gaze, his blue eyes somber and serious. “I heard from my grandmother that she’s married and a mother of two now.”
“Oh wow.” Aubree walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not.” He grasped her waist and held her back. “She’s happy and I’m happy for her.” His gaze turned playful. “What about you? Share your X’s and O’s.”
“I…don’t have much to tell. I dated a few men and it’s never been serious.”
“Why not?” he asked.
She paused, thinking it over. “Serious is scary. Really scary. I don’t know if I could surrender my life and happiness over to someone else like that. And the men I dated never seemed to love me the way I loved them. It’s made me gun shy, I guess.”
Matthew reached up to toy with a damp lock of her hair. That was one of a dozen things she loved about him: how he made her feel cared for with all those small touches, those little strokes or playfully intimate moments like this. He wanted to touch her and wanted to be with her.
“When you’re really in love, it’s not about surrendering; it’s about sharing.”
She wished she could explain to him that it never felt like that with those other men. She always felt they would take part of her away, a part she wouldn’t know how to get back. That was terrifying. So she avoided love, avoided relationships, and focused on work. Meeting Matthew had made her want to change all of that though. And that scared her too.
“Are we talking about love?” she asked, her heart battering against her ribs.
“Maybe.” He still held her in his arms as she trembled. “Whatever this is, let’s not worry or rush. Let’s take our time.”
He sounded so calm, so casual, but she wasn’t. She planned her life down to every detail when she could. The moment she felt herself starting to go down a rabbit trail of worries, he raised an eyebrow as he studied her expression and gave her arms a gentle squeeze before his eyes lit with fresh excitement.
“Let me take you out on the town. I want to show you the bar.”
“But I’ve been to the bar.” She chuckled and tilted her head, watching him.
“Not like this. I want you behind the bar making cocktails with me.”
“Really?” She had to admit the idea being behind the bar with him sounded really sexy and fun. “Will your boss be okay with that?”
Mathew bit his bottom lip, hiding a smile.
“What?”
“My boss won’t mind.” He bent his head and kissed the tip of her nose. “But first, I’m making you an X’s and O’s drink.”
“Day drinking is going to be a problem with you isn’t it.” She laughed. “What’s in this one?”
“Some Patron XO, bitters, ginger bear, lemon juice, and a little cinnamon- orange blossom syrup.”
Aubree laughed. “I swear