bit, show her a good time, get some of that ice chipped away.
Sure of the situation, I went back to my room, making the necessary calls as my assistant, Alvy, carefully tucked away my belongings, slapping my hand away if I tried to help because 'remember what happened last time?'
In truth, I didn't.
But they made it sound grave enough for me to drop down in the chair by the sliding doors to watch the city one last time.
"So, what's her name?" Alvy asked, carefully rolling one of my suits in their hands.
Alvy had been with me for going on three years. Which was a lot of staying power for someone who typically had their personal assistants rage-quit after a few months, no matter how handsomely I offered to pay them to stay on.
Alvy was short and slight with close-cropped medium-brown hair, and knowing brown-black eyes. They dressed as they lived, non-binary, sometimes in jeans and a flannel, other times in a nicely tailored suit that was neither masculine nor feminine in design. Today, they wore a pair of black skinny jeans, a white and gray button-up three-quarter length sleeved shirt, and Chucks that had to have been custom made with a pattern of green frogs on the outside and a bright purple tongue and laces.
"Wasp," I told Alvy, shrugging.
"She wouldn't give you her real name, but you are chartering a private jet to take her out to your yacht?" Alvy asked, brow arching up as they went into the bathroom to grab my shaving kit, tucking it into one of my suitcases.
"She doesn't like me, Alvy," I told them pressing a hand to my heart. "Can you imagine?"
"Judging by the three-hour rant phone call I got from your previous assistant when I first started, yes, yes, I can imagine."
"Michel had very strong feelings on proper REM cycles. Feelings I clearly do not share. That's why we work so well, Al, I never sleep. You are an insomniac. It's a perfect relationship."
"Did she tell you that she was going to come?"
"Not in so many words."
"Did she say it in any words? In sign language? In Morse Code?" Alvy asked, smirking.
"Her eyes told me she was coming."
"Oh, for Christ's sake," Alvy scoffed, reaching for their phone.
"Who are you calling?"
"The pilot."
"For what?"
"To warn him that you will likely need to make a last-minute flight plan change to somewhere less romantic, and more party-focused when she stands you up." With that, they moved out into the kitchen area to do just that while brewing a new pot of coffee, being a fiend themselves, and knowing I was always up for a cup. "Okay, so what is it about this one?" Alvy asked, handing me my coffee a few moments later.
"Hm?"
"Is she the daughter of a drug kingpin? A princess of a small country? A retired movie star. In her sixties?"
"That was one time," I insisted, smiling at the memory. "And she was a hell of a time."
"Until she slashed your tires when she found out you moved onto the woman who was playing her in the remake of her classic movie."
"Don't be ridiculous," I said, lips twitching. "A movie under twenty years old can't be considered a classic."
"I was the one who had to handle the tire replacement and the press," Alvy reminded me.
"I believe I got you an I'm sorry gift for that."
"You bought me a ten-thousand-dollar living room set."
"That sounds nice of me."
"I don't have a home," Alvy told me, rolling their eyes.
"Well, why not? Do I not pay you enough?" I asked.
"If you paid me anymore, I'd have to start moving money offshore," Alvy told me. "The issue isn't that I need more money. It is that it is pointless to get a home when I am literally never there to spend time in it."
"So? I have a home. I have... six? Is it six?"
"It's eleven," Alvy told me. "Though three of those are family estates, not fully yours."
"Where are the extra two houses?"
"Let me preface this with saying that if you don't know the cities and countries of your residencies, it might be smart to unload them. The most recent was a lodge in Colorado."
'That doesn't count. That is a business."
"A business with a six-thousand square foot home for the owner. That you keep fully staffed, but never visit."
"How could I visit when I forgot it existed?" I shot back, smiling. "Maybe we should arrange to have someone rent it out. Or do one of those house shares there. Would