she’s taking it when I see concern in her eyes. “No, he was great. Really, Jen. But…” I lick my lips and scrub at my eyes, not wanting to cry again. “It was great and I didn’t feel anything. I mean I felt things, but not what I wanted to feel. You know?”
“Babe, you don’t have to fall for the guy after having sex with him,” she points out, brows raised. “Love takes time. Don’t beat yourself up over not being head over heels or exchanging those kinds of words just because the guy was inside you.”
Heat settles into my cheeks. “It’s not that. I know I don’t have to say that because of what we did. But he’s always been so kind to me. Look what he did for me with my student teaching? He saved me from having to wait another semester to finish my degree.”
“Do you think you owe him?”
My eyes widen. “No. It’s—” I realize how bad this is coming out, so I recollect myself and take a deep breath. Counting to five, I exhale and look at her. “I felt things before. Things I didn’t feel with him. No spark. No… I don’t know, connection? Not a real one anyway. And I kept searching for one because I knew there had to be something. There just wasn’t.”
“When you say you felt things before…”
Popping my lips, I avoid her brazen stare as she tries wringing an answer out of me. “You know I’m not a virgin. I’ve had sex before.”
She smacks my arm. “Piper!”
I rub the spot she hit and frown. “Ow. That actually hurt, She Hulk. I’m getting you food, no need to physically harm me.”
“Tell me who!”
I bite down on the inside of my cheek, counting the waffles on the plate to see if I have enough. Choosing to be safe, I pour the last of the batter in the machine and rinse out the bowl while it cooks. “I really don’t think it matters, Jenna.”
Her hand comes out and stops me from rinsing the ladle in my hand. “Oh my God. It’s Easton.” She hisses out his name, eyes widening but bright with accusation.
I don’t confirm it or deny it. “It doesn’t matter, okay? I—”
“Stop right there. You had s-e-x with a hottie last night and came home crying.” She stares me in the eye. “That means that you’re hung up on somebody else, so it matters. Be real with me. I’m your best friend. Are you in love with Easton?”
Are you in— Why does my heart suddenly feel like I’ve been running? It beats wildly in my throat as I repeat those words. Well, just one of them.
Love. Am I in love with Easton?
“I don’t see how I could be,” is what I say.
“Oh my God,” she repeats, this time in awe. I’m not sure what she’s thinking, but I’m sure it can’t be good. “You’re in love with that sex on a stick. I should have seen this coming.”
“What does that mean?”
She actually claps her hands like this is the best news she’s heard in forever. “Piper, I’m going to level with you, okay? After Danny, I didn’t know what would happen to you. You closed yourself off and sunk into this deep pit that I couldn’t get you out of. You pretended you were fine because of Ainsley, but the world could see you weren’t. And that night when I forced you to get drunk off your ass here was the first time you let your guard down.”
Some good that did.
That was the first night I slept with Easton. Jenna had sobered up hours later and drove herself home. Easton and I kept drinking, kept staring, kept getting closer. Before I knew it, his mouth was on mine and my hands were on his body and we were naked and in a very compromising position in my bed. We’d had sex three times that night, all rushed and rough but never sloppy. Despite the amount of alcohol I drank, I remember every single detail.
“You became somebody who was living again because of him,” she continues, squeezing my hand that I didn’t realize she’d taken into hers. “Then when you admitted that you guys were doing the casual sex thing, I could tell it was helping you. You were brighter, happier. It wasn’t until a couple months ago that shifted, and I don’t know how many times I ignored the signs. Whenever I’d come over, you two would stare at each