tour, live on little to no sleep while groupies throw themselves at you and you fuck till your dick’s raw because it’s expected, not because you actually want to.” I heard him swallow hard. “So, when you ask me what I’m afraid of and I say everything, I’ve never uttered a truer statement in my life.” I kept my mouth shut and was gifted more. “I’m afraid of failing. I’m afraid of letting people down. I’m afraid of waking up ten years from now never having had a meaningful relationship in my life. Which is probably for the best because I know who I am and I would probably make her miserable.” He snuffled a laugh. “Somehow, I’d make her hate me. When it comes to women, I’m real good at that.” A short moment passed and, his tone quiet, he turned solemn. “I’m afraid of becoming an addict again. That one scares me the most.” A pause, then, “I’m always one weak moment away from that.”
Whoa.
I had no idea.
“I’m so tired.” He lay back and let out a drowsy, “I’m just gonna rest my eyes a sec, okay?”
My response was gentle. “Okay, sweetie.”
Not a minute later, his steady breathing told me he was asleep. Without a word, I got up and removed his shoes. When that didn’t make him stir, I tugged at the blanket, trying to work it out from under his prone body. It took a while but I got there. With a sad sigh, I climbed in beside him and pulled the covers up over us. As I did, he rolled my way, slid his hand up the front of my tank, and grasped my bare breast. Eyes wide, I put both my hands up as if I were under arrest. But Connor put his forehead to my chest and mumbled out a groggy, “I’m not asleep. Just resting.”
A short moment later, he was snoozing again. And I lay there, frozen.
It took me a second but gradually, my discomfort eased. As I listened to Connor’s deep breathing, I small smile took me, happy that he felt comfortable enough to be like this with me.
He was exhausted and if falling asleep with a hand on my boob were to deliver him some slight form of contentment, I would provide it for as long as he needed.
I hesitated only a second before I put one arm around his shoulders and the other at the back of his neck, gently stroking the soft hairs at his nape. Dipping my chin, I placed my lips at the crown of my head and held them there.
A thought crossed me and then I was frowning into the darkness.
To the world, Connor was a star.
But to me, he was slowly becoming my entire universe.
Chapter Fifteen
Wherever I May Roam.
Emmy
“I swear to God, if I don’t find a new pair of boots,” Cherry stated as we went through the store, “I’m ending it all. Jesus. I’m so fucking done.”
It was nice going out with The Vixens. Yes, they were big but they weren’t Left Turn. And while we still needed security to escort us through the malls and boutiques, people mainly left the girls alone. I was sure this was because they looked so vicious that people were just plain scared to approach.
Pearl whistled before throwing a pair of black leather boots Cherry’s way. She caught them easily and looked them over. “They’re not bad, just not what I want.” When Pearl frowned, Cherry spelled it out. “Think Army. Tactical.”
“So, tell me.” Beth sidled up beside me before asking as nonchalantly as possible, “Has Lee been keeping company of the female kind?”
I smiled as I picked up a pair of navy-blue Chucks. “Why so curious?”
Suddenly, she paused mid-step. “He has, hasn’t he?”
I was stunned to see the raw emotion on her face.
“I didn’t say that,” I uttered as I took the shoes and held them under my arm. But, yes, there had been women.
She moped. “You didn’t have to.”
My brow lowered. So did my voice. “What’s going on? Are you guys dating?”
Beth shook her head.
“They’re not dating.” Ettie came up from behind us. “Just screwing.”
“That’s not true,” corrected Beth. A short pause then, “We haven’t had sex.” She grinned. “Yet.”
Pearl decided to weigh in. “I keep telling her Lee’s not the guy for her. But you think she listens?” Her lips puckered. “Nope. There’s just screeching metal and dead air inside that head of hers.”
Cherry sniggered and dodged Beth’s annoyed smack.
Poor Beth. She looked