I'm shy? Or self-conscious?
I almost fucking laugh. Almost. I run my hand through my hair and look at her pretty face.
If only.
“I’m not worried about how my dick looks.” I’m worried about it not fucking working. I’m worried about flipping out when I press into her. I’m worried about fucking feeling what I don’t want to. Of remembering things I don’t want to. Of so many things.
“Rhys.” Her voice is sultry as fuck, and it actually goes straight to my dick which twitches in my jeans, dying to get free.
“Now.” Before I chicken out. I kick my shoes off and grab my socks, removing them and staring at her as my shaky fingers move to the button on my jeans.
Her fingers find the strings of her thong, and I take a deep breath as we both remove the last bit of clothes shielding us.
I stand still, my eyes on her face as hers dip lower, looking slightly surprised. But then she meets my eyes. “You have a nice dick.”
Again, this chick almost makes me smile. “Are you really that surprised?”
“Yes. You were acting like you had a tiny little thing when it’s actually kinda monstrous.”
“Thing?” I take a step closer to her.
“Cock. Dick. One-eyed—” I hold my hand up to stop her, and she laughs. “I can keep going.”
“I believe you.”
“So, what are your rules, Rhys? Can I suck your cock?”
Her eyes move down where the tip of my dick is glistening with need at that idea, but honestly, I think it’s a bad idea. Too fucking intimate somehow.
Don’t ask me how my twisted up brain works. “No.”
“You’re seriously turning down a blowjob?”
“Yes.”
She bites her bottom lip with curiosity again. She’s trying to figure me out, find out what I like. She probably thinks I'm kinky as fuck when in reality, I’m not playing a game. I really can’t stand to be touched when I'm sober.
“Okay.” Her voice is low, almost a little shaky, and it’s oddly exciting to me. I know this isn’t a girl who gets rattled often. “Do what you want to me.”
That should not be a turn-on.
I walk toward her, my body stalking to hers, and she takes a step back. “Second guessing?”
She shakes her head, but takes yet another step back, meeting the wall near the exit. “No. Do you have a condom?”
I walk to the dresser by my bed and grab one, walking back to her.
“I mean, you’re probably clean anyway. Not having sex for a couple of years. And I always make guys wrap it up.”
I lean in close to her, careful to keep my lips away from hers. “You’re talking again.”
She swallows her nerves. And that’s exactly what this is. She’s nervous.
I didn’t think that was possible.
“I’m clean.” I open the condom wrapper and slide it onto my cock that, remarkably, has stayed hard. “But I'm not looking to be a dad. And I don’t trust you.”
“I don’t trust you either, fucker.” Now she’s defensive. “And I'm not fucking stupid. I don’t want to be a mom. I have an IUD.”
“Good.”
I’m still leaving the condom on. She could be a twisted bitch for all I know.
“Don’t touch me.”
She nods her head and lifts her arms above her head, plastering herself to the wall. The movement pulls her tits up even higher, and she looks hot as hell waiting for me to fuck her, to do whatever I want to her.
Her eyes are on me though, sending my heart racing as my dick touches her thigh, and she shivers with need.
I can’t do this.
I can’t fucking do this.
I can’t breathe.
“Rhys. Don’t make me beg.”
“I can’t do this.” God I'm such a pussy.
She thinks for a moment, and then without dropping her hands she swivels her entire body, facing the wall. Somehow knowing the eye contact was a problem.
“You’re better than this. You aren’t a fucking sex doll.” I mean, I’m assuming she is better than this. Fuck, anyone deserves better than this.
Her small shoulder lifts, “Make it feel good, and I won’t care.”
What happened to this chick to put up with this shit from me? It’s all I can think as I use my foot to nudge hers to the side, spreading her legs wider for me, and I enter her. I’m not gentle. I’m not fucking sweet.
I’m brutal.
It’s the only way I know how to fuck. Just get to the finish line.
She cries out at the intrusion, but she moves her hips back toward me, accepting each punishing thrust. Her body doesn’t