skirt again, and I blushed bright red.
I was pretty sure I’d be blushing for years at this point. Even if this fling only lasted a few weeks, or a few months. Everything we’d done . . . it felt naughty. But also so very nice.
I sighed as I headed up the stairs to check on Mom and change my clothes. I would do a few more chores and make dinner before calling it an early night. I wanted to snuggle up with a book and daydream about Nick. Everything about him was surprising. The fact that he liked me at all was surprising.
But somehow, he did. He really did. I knew he wasn’t pretending. The tender way he cared for me showed that. He’d been so gentle . . . I knew he’d been holding himself back. That a big, strong man could be so careful and sweet was a revelation.
“Mom?” I asked, giving her door a soft rap. We didn’t ever shut it completely but I tried to give her a semblance of privacy. She was a grown woman, after all.
A strange sound greeted me. A whimper. I was through the door at a run. What I saw had me screech to a halt. I stood there, frozen, as realization dawned. I should not have left her alone, even just for a few hours.
I was a bad daughter. Horrible. The worst. She needed me and I had failed her.
“Oh, Mom . . .” I whispered, running the last few feet to her bed. She must have gotten out awkwardly and fallen. I knew she’d be bruised at the very least. But it was the blood on her lips that scared me. “Can you breathe?”
She nodded, but I could tell her breathing was labored. The cancer had spread. We knew that already. We just didn’t know how much. But if she was in pain all the time, she was doing an excellent job of hiding it from me.
“How long has it been getting worse?” I asked quietly as I helped her get back into bed. We were definitely going to the hospital, but I knew she would argue. And I wanted to make her as comfortable as possible for now while I cleaned her up and called her doctor. It wasn’t a short drive and she wasn’t going to go willingly.
I would need to guilt her into going. And I had no compunctions about doing it. Yes, I would stoop to emotional blackmail. If I had to manipulate the woman into doing what was best for her, I would. I loved her that much.
And I’d learned long ago that she would gladly martyr herself for her loved ones without batting an eye.
“I didn’t want to ruin your day,” she said as she settled back against the pillows. She slept with a wedge behind her back to ease her breathing. Keeping her chest elevated had made a huge difference at first. Now, I wasn’t sure what to do to help her, or if anything could.
“Well, that’s silly. You’re a thousand times more important than a picnic!” I said, trying not to raise my voice. But she was making herself ill to protect my feelings and it was not okay! “A million times!”
“How was it, though?” she asked. She was pale, but she had a definite twinkle in her eye. I sighed and went to get a wet washcloth to clean her mouth. I needed to call her doctor. But I sat on the edge of the bed and smiled while I wiped her face clean.
“It was nice.”
“Nice?”
“Really nice. Now have a sip of water. I need to call Dr. Gilbert.”
“Don’t bother him on a weekend.”
I gave her a look of disbelief.
“You are kidding, right? Mom, this can’t go on. The treatment isn’t working. And I know you’ve been lying to me about the pain.”
She frowned and looked away.
“Nothing is going to stop this, Meli.”
I squeezed her hand.
“I don’t believe that. But if it is true, then we at least need to make you comfortable. Now, I’ll be right back.”
I got up and left before the tears came. I didn’t want her to see me cry and there was no holding them back once the door closed behind me. But what use were my tears? They did Mom no good at all. I couldn’t make her feel worse. She had just said everything we’d both been thinking but afraid to say. Nothing was going to stop this. And we both knew it.
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