does it not?”
Benedict was not quite sure what to say to such a remark, looking at his friend and feeling both embarrassment and shame creep over his heart.
“What must I do?” he said eventually, as Ramsbury lifted one eyebrow. “Lady Charity, you said, was very upset last evening. There must be something I can do or say that will, in some small way, make recompense?
Ramsbury looked away, his brow furrowing and his lips twisted and pulled to one side as he considered.
“I suppose,” he said, slowly, “that you will have to find a way to prove to Lady Charity that you are not as caught up with Lady Norwich’s return as she believes you to be. She needs to see that you are making every attempt to step away from your past memories and look now to the future. When you see Lady Norwich again – as you are certain to do given that she is now in society – you must be cordial but nothing more. Be entirely unaffected.”
“I – I am not certain that I can be,” Benedict replied, a little gruffly. “It is easy enough to say but –”
“Prepare yourself, if you must,” Ramsbury interrupted, his tone now rather practical. “And whatever you feel, do not permit it to permeate your behavior nor your manner. Consider what and who you have before you, particularly if it is Lady Charity.”
Letting out a small sigh, Benedict let his resolve begin to grow steadily.
“Very well,” he said, as Ramsbury nodded, a somewhat contented expression settling across his face. “I shall try, of course.”
The thought of seeing Lady Norwich again, of being in her company and having to greet her as though nothing whatsoever had occurred between them, was one that wrapped itself tightly around Benedict’s heart and squeezed hard. However, the thought of having to speak to Lady Charity again, to apologize and to attempt to make amends, now realizing what might be between them, should he pursue it, made his considerations all the more fierce.
“I am glad to hear it,” Ramsbury replied. “Now, you are to attend Lord Whitegates’s ball this evening, are you not? I am certain that both Lady Charity and Lady Norwich will be present.”
Benedict found himself nodding, even though he had already decided to remain at home for the rest of the day and night.
“I will attend, of course,” he said, evidently willing to resign himself to the fact that he would now be going regardless of what he had thought previously. “And mayhap spend the little time I have left before then to consider all that you have said.”
Ramsbury nodded.
“Very good, Hosmer,” he replied, now a good deal calmer than before. “And let us hope that this night, you will not be as eager to imbibe as much brandy as before!”
“I certainly shall not do so,” Benedict replied, ruefully. “Of that, Ramsbury, I am quite determined.”
Stepping into Lord Whitegate’s ball filled Benedict with more nervousness than he had experienced in some time. Just knowing that both Lady Charity and Lady Norwich were present filled him with such anxiety that he felt like turning around and making his way directly back to his carriage. But no, he was not about to show such cowardice. He had behaved foolishly and it was right for him to make amends as best he could with Lady Charity, and he had spent the afternoon considering what he might say to Lady Norwich, should he meet her again. No longer was he filled with that same ire, the same lingering pain which had caught him so many times before. There was, of course, the urge to press his mind back to that moment, to see the greenery decorating the ballroom and to let himself recall the happy times he had spent with Lady Norwich before she had brought their betrothal to an end – but Benedict was determined not to do so. He had lived too long in such memories and now, if he was to find any happiness at all, he needed to be determined in his efforts.
Walking through the ballroom, he smiled and nodded at various guests before, finally, he caught sight of his quarry. Lady Charity was standing with Lady Hayward and talking with another young lady and someone Benedict presumed was the young lady’s mother. There was a warm smile on Lady Charity’s lips and none of the anger that he had managed to recall from last evening.
If only she would look at me in such