let me ..."
And he shifted, poised to touch something finer than Heaven, then slowly sank into her, past a virgin barrier. She gasped and stiffened. Tears shimmered from her eyes.
"My God ..." he said and froze. Time stopped. He tried to focus on her face, then groaned, "You couldn't have fallen very far."
She said nothing but gripped his shoulders and slowly opened her eyes. In her sweet and trusting gaze, he saw his future and his heart. She gripped his upper arms and moved toward him, seeking all he had to give her. She reached up and ran her fingers over his mouth, unspeakable emotion in her eyes. The unshakable love for him he saw in her gaze was the most priceless gift of a lifetime, something more than any amounts of money could ever buy.
Their love went on forever, an eternity within this woman that showed him more than words ever could about life and love, and his reason for being. And when every bit of physical passion had drained away, when the stars of loving had dimmed and peace and comfort settled in, that great and overwhelming feeling of love he had for her was still there, bright and strong and eternal.
He tenderly cupped her head in his hand and told her then what he now knew had been there from almost their first moment together. "You are my heart, Lilli. God in Heaven, how I love you." He drifted off, in a deep peace because he had found her.
Her face crumpled with emotion, too. She shook her head, her breath a cry and a whisper. "Oh no ... please."
But it was too late.
Daniel had found in her a miracle, and he had already given her his heart.
She was cold, bone-chillingly cold. Lilli stood by the bed, dressed in the silk shirt that had been discarded on the floor near the bed, a shawl wrapped around her, and she watched Daniel sleep.
The house was eerily quiet. Still. There were embers in the fireplace, but the chill she felt so deeply inside her had nothing to do with the air.
It seemed to her now, that her life in Heaven had been everything wrong. And here was everything right. Even her miracles.
There was a kind of cruel and wry irony in the fact that the one thing she could never do in Heaven she had managed to do here. Lilli had performed a miracle. Daniel's miracle.
She knew what the cold was...warning it would be soon. She would go back to Heaven now.
Could there be such cruelty?
With all of her earthly being she hoped not. But it was out of her hands now. If she must go, she now had had a brief glimpse of how painful eternity would be.
Daniel loved her, and she could not stay. She could feel the change happening deep inside of her body, the slight fading, a tingling feeling....
And what about him? She covered her mouth with one hand and tried to catch a shuddering breath that wouldn't be caught.
Her mind became nothing but images of his pain when he awoke and saw she was gone, this man who had lost every person he'd ever cared for.
Dear Lord, she'd carry that pain for him too, would carry it throughout all eternity.
For his sake, she prayed to stay, knowing her prayers were lost before she even said them. She prayed again, and again, litanies of prayer, until finally she sank to her knees. Her hands were folded tightly.
She stared at them, not knowing if she clasped her hands so tightly to try to hold on to this earthly life, or to help insure that her prayers might by some chance be answered.
But prayers and folded hands and words were not helping. Her vision grew foggy, misted. She was slowly fading away after only a brief glimpse of Heaven on Earth.
One last prayer....
I want to stay. Please, please ....
She buried her face on her folded hands and sobbed silently.
Somewhere in the distance, a church bell rang.
And a second later, Lilli disappeared.
Her angel's face
As the great eye of Heaven shined bright.
And made sunshine in a shady place.
—Edmund Spenser
Chapter Fourteen
SOMEWHERE IN THE DISTANCE A CHURCH BELL rang and woke him. He opened his eyes, then reached out and touched the sheet where she had been. It was empty.
He listened for her sounds in the bathroom but heard nothing. He wanted to go to her but thought perhaps she needed some privacy. He locked his hands behind his head and stared